Mar 272008

I suppose it sounds all too-cool-for-school (-5) to say that I don’t find fame inherently impressive. Sounds like something the jerk who won’t ever shut up about how he never watches television would say, you know?

However, it’s true. If you’re playing Bo’s-a-Prick Bingo, go ahead and put a marker on the “Isn’t Impressed By Fame” square. There are scores, perhaps hundreds, of first-tier “celebrities” I wouldn’t even necessarily recognize. That whole Affleck/Damon/DiCaprio crowd all looks the same to me (which was a real liability watching The Departed, I’ll tell you). There are six or eight trampish blondes I can’t ever keep straight. And I’d have a hell of a lot of trouble with most any famous musician under 30.

Consequently, I believe there are relatively few people who could render me starstruck. I can’t think of any actor who could. Kevin Spacey is my favorite, but I could shake his hand and make cocktail party talk with him. Sports figures? I can count the ones I’d even make an effort to glimpse on one hand.

So who could make me stutter? Stanley Kubrick and Ronald Reagan could have. Here are a few good guesses among the living:

  • Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons, most likely. The founders of Kiss? Seriously? Standing right in front of me?
  • I’d have a hard time with Tori Amos. I’ve admired her singing, playing, and songwriting for almost half my life. Little Earthquakes is an all-time top five album for me. Plus, she’s otherworldly sexy. We saw her at Starwood in Nashville several years ago, and her grinding on the piano bench singing and playing “Precious Things” was the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen in public.
  • Alabama’s own Condoleezza Rice might leave me at a loss in her presence. I admire her intellect and substantial academic accomplishments. She’s also one of the world’s foremost experts on Slavic cultures, and a concert pianist talented enough to play anything (really). Plus, she loves football.
  • Tracey Ullman would blow me away. If I had a fiftieth of her comedic abilities, I’d be the funniest guy in five counties. She has never not entertained me—and well—when I’ve stopped to watch and listen.
  • And Pauly Shore, of course, for all of the obvious reasons.

There’s my off-the-top-of-my-head list. Anyone out there who would make you drool and/or babble?

 Posted by at 11:23 pm
Mar 262008

For at least three things I can recall, people say “a” when “an” would be correct.  Have you ever noticed that?  For all I know this is largely a Southern thing, though it is present in at least one #1 pop hit of the ’70s by a group that contains no members from the South.

  • Could I get a Amen?
  • One of the 700 Amys I’m friends with and I have an ongoing joke about going to get “a ICEE,” and you have to say “ICEE” really Southern.  Ever had one?  I couldn’t swear I ever have.  It always makes me think of K mart 30 years ago, with that vaguely art deco snack bar sign and that old popcorn smell.  The whole store is kind of dimly lit in my memory, as well.  Not dim, but definitely not the thousand-watts-per-square-inch approach they have today.
  • “Thinkin’ of you’s workin’ up a appetite, lookin’ forward to a little afternoon delight”

I ought to write a story including a frequently-Amenning church, “Afternoon Delight,” and a ICEE.

I had to make this kind of light to balance out this morning.  Saintseester started my day with an email including an example of someone using “flaunt” instead of “flout,” and that made me remember a recent time in which someone had used “phase” instead of “faze.”  Makes a guy cranky.

 Posted by at 8:30 pm
Mar 252008

John Derbyshire, a favorite writer of mine who straddles cantankerousness and gentlemanliness brilliantly, has been saying it for months.  Anyone who’s ever seen a certain film has wondered about it.  Now it’s getting traction in the “mainstream media.”
Gore 2008.

Is that really a possibility?


Jeremiah Wright, evidently a fine man except for those unfortunate moments when he gets to spewing anti-American hate, has turned out to be the first something to stick to Barack Obama.  Hillary’s latest is not remembering whether she dodged sniper fire or calmly listened to an eight-year-old’s poetry after landing in Bosnia.  She “misspoke” because she says “millions of words” every day.

Man, that is a rocking shitload of words.

So what of it?  Obama can’t quit.  Why should he?  He’s ahead, though perhaps slightly damaged by the Rev. Wright business.  Plus, he’s audaciously hopeful.

I think if Hillary were going to fold her tent and fight another day, she’d have done it by now.  I mean, with Florida officially out of play and Michigan on life support…

So she’s going to snipe for three more months, at least.  Obama will have to snipe back.  Gore rides in, being his 2006 movie star self instead of his 2000 “my own man” self, and takes it, decisively.

I’ve commented several times on the high quality of the political theater this time around.  Gore’s summer entrance would send it past the Kuiper belt.

 Posted by at 7:55 pm
Mar 242008

I had a pretty good day at work, particularly for a Monday.  I have most of the answer to a problem that’s been bugging me for several days, and one of my favorite coworkers got pulled onto a project I’m working on.

Man, did the day ever go to hell after I left.  I started trying to write a post about the various minor tragedies of the evening, but it was all coming out long on bitching and short on wit, so I decided to spare you.

I suppose that instead, you’re being treated to me being all self-congratulatory for exercising good judgment in what and what not to publish.  That’s not good reading either.  Folks, I got nothing.  I can’t even do a meme justice.  I’m going to bed at 9-something for the first time in years (while not sick, anyway).

Thank you for reading WmWms.  I promise a more stimulating post for tomorrow.

 Posted by at 9:42 pm