My loving wife submitted to whatever you have to submit to in order to purchase pseudoephedrine today. “I got us real Sudafed,” she announced upon her return home. Yay, Lea. Not a moment too soon, as I have determined that oral phenylephrine has the same efficacy as Skittles.
So that’s one thing that will go well tonight.
The only positive thing about a bad cold used to be the NyQuil, but now that label mindlessly trumpets “New Pseudoephedrine-Free Formula!” What is that about? Given the methamphetamine-precursor premise, I understand the decision to restrict the sale of preparations that contain only pseudoephedrine, but why yank it out of OTC cocktails too?
It’s easy enough to “roll your own,” of course: just take all of the drugs in all of the doses in NyQuil. I suppose if you want absolute authenticity, you ought to take a quarter-ounce of 80-proof liquor, as well. That will get you all of the physiological effects.
But you’ll still miss out on that glorious flavor: that something between licorice and mint, at once sickly sweet and bitter, which nevertheless tastes good because you’ve come to equate it with getting some rest.
I’m ready to feel good again.