Dec 012007

My loving wife submitted to whatever you have to submit to in order to purchase pseudoephedrine today. “I got us real Sudafed,” she announced upon her return home. Yay, Lea. Not a moment too soon, as I have determined that oral phenylephrine has the same efficacy as Skittles.

So that’s one thing that will go well tonight.

The only positive thing about a bad cold used to be the NyQuil, but now that label mindlessly trumpets “New Pseudoephedrine-Free Formula!” What is that about? Given the methamphetamine-precursor premise, I understand the decision to restrict the sale of preparations that contain only pseudoephedrine, but why yank it out of OTC cocktails too?

It’s easy enough to “roll your own,” of course: just take all of the drugs in all of the doses in NyQuil. I suppose if you want absolute authenticity, you ought to take a quarter-ounce of 80-proof liquor, as well. That will get you all of the physiological effects.

But you’ll still miss out on that glorious flavor: that something between licorice and mint, at once sickly sweet and bitter, which nevertheless tastes good because you’ve come to equate it with getting some rest.

I’m ready to feel good again.

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 Posted by at 8:31 pm

  5 Responses to “Real Sudafed”

  1. Real Sudaphed. good stuff. A couple of years ago, I had a massive allergy attack at my Sister’s. Did not realize they had given me fake phed. The pills were little, round red ones. Look a likes. Might as well have been red hots for all the good they do. Now with my BP probs I cannot take the phed often. But if I have a rip-roaring head cold, it is the only thing that will give me any relief. Sometimes you just gotta breathe.

  2. Oh. Forgot. Try to feel better, soon.

  3. We went through the background checks and affidavits to buy some Sudafed last season – and I only take the stuff when we REALLY need it because it’s so damned hard to get. Mr. Chili bought it last year from a pharmacy while I waited in the car. He got in the passenger seat, looked at me, and said “pretty soon, it’s going to be easier to score actual METH than it will be to buy a cough drop.” Then he said, “I think the meth will probably do me more good.” He cracks me up.

    I try to avoid Nyquil. I don’t “sleep” when I’m on the stuff, I hallucinate. Not restful at all…

  4. With two adults in the house taking it as often as possible, I’m kind of wondering how long our supply is going to last. I’m wondering when I’m going to be able to buy it again without raising a red flag.

    I’m ready for everyone in this house to be well again!

  5. Remember, kids, you don’t want to turn out this way.

    See meth, stop meth.

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