Well, yet another ton of “you’re getting old” bricks fell on my chest today.
(I guess that’s what they are. They feel like they slot right into that cantankerous old man I feel developing.)
Out of nowhere, this company MackWeldon.com made a big ad buy, and consequently I saw them three different places before 9:00 this morning. Underwear merchant. We’re different. Come see us.
All right. Fresh off my positive Harry’s experience, I’m perhaps a bit predisposed to think differently about the staples of day-to-day life and how I obtain them.
And let me tell you, I think about underwear just about exactly like I think about shaving. It’s a consumable. I’m a tighty-whitey man—there it is forever Googleable—and I turn them over 100% annually. Once a year, I purchase 14 pairs of briefs. I wash them on arrival and press them into service immediately, discarding my previous stock.
I spend $3-4 per pair doing this. Cursory, up-to-the-minute Amazon.com research reveals that it’d be $49.98 if I did it right now. That’s $3.57 per. (I swear it was even better earlier today.)
The Mack Weldon people have a progressive discount structure. At the top, if you spend $200, you get 25% off. And that gets the price of a single pair of briefs down to $14.50.
Guys, really? Are there significant numbers of you walking around with $15 underwear on?
You know, I have dreams. I have a couple of dreams that, if properly and vigorously pursued, could make me a considerable amount of money.
But I tell you as I type this—on June 3, 2014, and admittedly a substantial distance from genuine financial freedom—that no matter what successes I eventually enjoy, I will never in my life have $15 for a single pair of underwear.
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You want to talk about expensive undergarments? Go bra shopping.
Indeed. Also, Bo, you are assuming that your annual reboot cycle is part of the equation. If these last considerably longer, then it’s not quite apples to apples.
I have been privy to lengthy and passionate conversations about good bras vs. bad bras, and I do appreciate the problem. Being a woman is medically and logistically harder than being a man. No argument. Breasts are a pain. No argument.
Amanda, I acknowledged that a bit on my Twitter feed. For one thing, I toss them at about two-thirds strength. They’re fine functionally, but have lost a bit of tone and softness at a year.
More importantly, for the Mack Weldon briefs to last four times as long is implausible.
I’m kind of intrigued, though. I may give them a limited go. If I do, you may expect a full review, mercifully devoid of photographs.
Amen, ‘Seester. These industrial-strength boulder holders are ridiculously expensive.