Oct 312009
 
  • …book I ever read was Lost Boys by Orson Scott Card.
  • …thing I ever ate was a balut.
  • …dream I ever had wouldn’t make any sense if I told you.  Invariably, the dreams that scare me the most contain disparate, ordinary elements, and I can never explain—even to myself—why they’re scary.
  • …movie I ever saw was Alien.
  • …single moment of my life was the two seconds I spent in the air between involuntarily leaving the bed of a Ford Courier pickup at 65 mph and landing on Coleman Road in Anniston.
  • …song I ever heard was “DOA” by Bloodrock.
  • …thing a date ever told me was that she was a Mafia princess.
  • …video game I ever played was Condemned: Criminal Origins.
  • …amusement park ride I ever rode was the UFO at long-gone Petticoat Junction in Panama City Beach.
  • …drug experience I ever had was the only drug experience I ever had.

Happy Halloween.

 Posted by at 4:21 pm
Oct 302009
 

Lea didn’t go to stained glass class Wednesday night, which meant that she didn’t need me to put the Technical Writing Express in the garage (involving maneuvers around other vehicles with which she is not comfortable), which meant that I forgot to take the garbage cans to the street (which I habitually do at the same time).

So our week’s worth of garbage wasn’t picked up, because they won’t break into your garage to get to it.

So I decided to drive the truck yesterday so I could get rid of two bags.  I had to wait much later than usual to leave, because Nathan had thrown up overnight, and I needed to stay with him while Lea took Aaron to school.  Then, the truck just barely started.  It needs a battery.  It was pouring down rain, so doing it at lunch was out.  Unsure of how many more starts I had, I decided it’d be prudent to drive it home at lunch and swap it for the TWE.  I did so, thinking I’d get up early this morning, drive the truck to O’Reilly (which opens at 7), and swap it in the parking lot.

Then, after being fine for just under 24 continuous hours, Nathan threw up again last night.  So I’m watching him again, and leaving late again, and the truck has been relegated to Sunday afternoon.  It probably won’t start by then, necessitating either a) jumping it off; or b) ferrying the old battery, then the new, in the TWE.  Probably I’ll go with b) if it comes to that.

It’s a delicate little web sometimes.

Waaaaahhhh.  What big problems I have.

Nathan seems fine, except for the periodic involuntary projection of his stomach contents.  The boys were H1N1-misted on Wednesday, and he may be reacting to that.  Or, could be just poorly-timed gastroenteritis (as if there’s a good time for it; yeah, that was a dumb thing to say).

Anyway, weekend’s almost here.  Hope you have a good one.

 Posted by at 8:02 am
Oct 292009
 
  • I am going to put my change up, fold my receipt, place it in the designated place in my wallet, and put my wallet in my pocket.  If you hand me my bag before I have done these things, I will set it down right in front of me without moving.  You people are going to give me ten goddam seconds post-transaction.
  • My standard Halloween practice is to watch House of 1000 Corpses in between answering the door.  However, this year trick-or-treating will be opposite football.  Might be time for a change.
  • If you ever start really missing that ridiculous percussion riff that permeated 1970s television (and porn), just quickly and repeatedly whisper “brown chicken, brown cow, brown chicken, brown cow…”  (Hat tip, Anna.)
  • I get an occasional hit from a Windows 2000 user, which I enjoy.  Windows 2000 was the first Microsoft operating system I really liked using.
  • There are two schools of spaghetti people:  mix-it-all-together folks, and sauce-over-noodles folks.  Mix-it-all-together folks, you’re going straight to hell, and you can stop reading here.  But sauce-over-noodles folks, dig:  when you put the leftovers up, put the noodles and the sauce side-by-side in the container.  Then, when you get some the next day for lunch, you can get noodles out first, then spoon sauce over the top, just as if it were fresh.
  • I renewed our car tags yesterday.  Stamped plates are almost gone in Alabama.  All of the new ones are screened.  I have no idea whether state prisoners actually made/make our tags, but a mental image of them running some nerdy microprocessor-driven paint machine isn’t nearly as satisfying as one of them running a massive press.
  • Gold’s been over $1,000/oz. every day for a month now.  Don’t relax yet.
 Posted by at 6:15 am
Oct 282009
 

I’ll tell you, the list of things I wish I’d thought of only gets longer.

If you want to wow them at the Halloween dinner party, serve them a hand:

meathand

I love the attention to detail—the fingernails, the bone stump, and so forth.  You can get the recipe/assembly instructions, for this and other variations, here.  (It’s meat loaf.)

Finally, I am delighted—and a smidge titillated, frankly—to inform you that an adorable young woman did this.  That detail took me by surprise.  Love it!

 Posted by at 12:39 pm
Oct 272009
 

Who said this?

Generally speaking we get the joke. We know that the free market is nonsense. We know that the whole point is to game the system, to beat the market, or at least find someone who will pay you a lot of money because they’re convinced that there is a free lunch. We know this is largely about power, that it’s an adults only, no limit game. We kind of agree with Mao that political power comes largely from the barrel of a gun. And we get it that if you want a friend, you should get a dog.

Banana republic dictator?  Doe-eyed college student who doesn’t yet know any better?  Some stinky hippie screaming at traffic?

Good guesses all, but alas, no.  That’s Ron Bloom, your current appointed “Manufacturing Czar” and “Car Czar,” speaking at an investment conference last year (hat tip, kemtee).  Want the video?

If this is your philosophy, then congratulations.  You’ve got your man in the Oval Office, and he’s assembling your team.  The destruction of American values you desire is going swimmingly.

But let’s not bleat any more shit about our esteemed president governing from the “center left,” m’kay?

 Posted by at 12:15 pm

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