Oct 022018

I used Dial soap until I got married. Then I switched to Ivory, because that’s what Lea used, and I just didn’t care that much.

There wasn’t much to report until maybe ten years ago, when my skin started getting noticeably drier in the winter. OK, fine. I’m getting older. It rubs the lotion on its skin. Better. But then the efficacy of that diminished to the point that I had to keep my skin uncomfortably slick-feeling most of the time to keep it from cracking some places, like between my fingers.

Guess what? I found out about a year ago that it doesn’t have to be that way. I started using Dr. Squatch soap exclusively, and just like that, I don’t have dry skin anymore. What’s the difference with this soap? Well, they’ll lay it on you here in more detail, but the Cliffs Notes are that they make all of the varieties from high-quality oils, and they don’t remove beneficial ingredients like glycerin to sell separately.

In theory, that’s true of a lot of premium soaps out there, not just Dr. Squatch. But the Dr. Squatch people do a good job building value with product consistency and a high-quality subscription experience. I get six bars delivered each quarter for $36, which you whiz kids will quickly determine works out to $6/bar.


It’s not a discount item. But it’s not a discount experience, either. The soaps smell great—more on that in a bit—and lather wonderfully. And, like I said, my skin is dramatically healthier. With daily use, I typically get two and a half weeks from a bar. (Don’t let it glop around in water when you’re not using it, or it will vanish more quickly than that. There’s a nice cedar parking place available for it, but anything keeping it raised will work.) You’ll also want to stick your almost-gone bar to its replacement, which is really easy with smooth, square bars.


Scents are pretty subjective, so I won’t try to go better or worse talking about them. I did try all of them before I settled on my two favorites. Notably, I didn’t find any of them particularly offensive, and exhausted each one before moving to the next.

All of that said, of the nine varieties available, I don’t plan to use these five again:

  • Bay Rum
  • Cedar Citrus
  • Eucalyptus Yogurt
  • Nautical Sage
  • Spearmint Basil

Fortunately, these are descriptively named, so you can get a sense of whether you might enjoy them.

I like Cool Fresh Aloe, but its lifespan was noticeably shorter than any of the other scents. So I may come back to that one from time to time, but it’s not a go-to.

My two regulars are Deep Sea Goat’s Milk and Pine Tar. Deep Sea Goat’s Milk has a pleasant scent that might be an even balance of floral and spicy. It doesn’t smell overtly masculine like some of the others do, but neither is it too precious. Pine Tar smells “like an Alpine whorehouse,” to borrow an expression from one of the most memorable television characters of the past decade. It is woodsy and strong indeed when you open it and use it, but is suitably subdued after the fact. (You don’t walk around all day reeking of it.) It also includes suitable quantities of oatmeal and sand to make it a good exfoliant. (It feels fine. It won’t hurt your tummy.)

I saved Gold Moss Scrub a paragraph of its own, because it is memorable indeed. Gold Moss Scrub smells like 1978 drugstore cologne. It smells like a hairy-chested guy in a provocatively-unzipped silk jumpsuit. It smells like the van with teardrop windows and red shag carpet that guy climbed out of. Gold Moss Scrub is funny. And if you’re getting a gotta-have-it vibe from what I’m telling you, then you’re probably right. Far out, man. Let’s go find some fondue.


I knew from pretty early on that I wanted to write this review, but I wanted to make sure I tried all nine scents before I did. After that, good old procrastination kicked in, and I’m months later than I could have been. Life happens.

Dr. Squatch soaps are fine products that I am proud to use daily. (And know that my only association with the Dr. Squatch people is that I am a satisfied customer.) They’re not grocery store cheap, but they deliver value commensurate with their price. I can pick no nits. Provided Dr. Squatch continues delivering this experience, I’ll be a customer for life.


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