With Brock Turner’s crime and woefully inadequate sentence dominating the news cycle this week, a friend reached out and said something that no one has ever said to me before:
“I am a rape survivor.”
She asked if she could say something on BoWilliams.com, and I am humbled and gratified to give her this post.
This has been a very difficult week with all of the Brock Turner coverage, not just because the sentence was so appalling but because I am a rape survivor. I’ve seen responses from fathers, husbands, and grandfathers, but not from any victims.
For me it’s like staring at a car crash. I can’t look away even though it’s extremely painful. I’ve been pulled back to a night that I wish I could forget, and that horrid mental game of “what if” that you do to yourself to try to figure out how you could have kept it from happening. That poor girl will struggle with this for the rest of her life, especially when cases like this hit the media and you are forced to think about your rape over and over.
As a victim I am fortunate in a way because I got a sincere apology after the fact, and while it didn’t make it right by any means, it did bring some closure. But the mental scars of rape never heal, never go away.
I wish I had an answer on how to end this from happening to anyone else. As a mother to a beautiful daughter, I will provide her with every tool I can to keep her safe. Right now I ask you to please pray for the victim in this case and all rape survivors because I can assure you they are hurting too.
– J
God be with you, my beautiful friend J, and with all victims of rape and sexual assault.
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Thank you J for having the guts to tell your side of the story. This is not a burden that any woman or man should have to experience much less relive due to other horrible acts by one person to another…
I am thankful for J’s perspective and her willingness to articulate it, for sure.