Anything in the mail today?

Lea and I have an ongoing junk mail pastime. We enjoy evaluating and discussing the methods by which junk mailers try to get you to open their crap.

She set this one right on top tonight, because she knew it was a good one.

This looks a lot like how a new credit or debit card arrives, doesn’t it? Indeed, it even says

Oh, my goodness! I can feel a cardish something or other in there, too! This is important. Indeed, it was even sent

Sounds like a classification of mail, doesn’t it? It’s not. Finally, we can see that time is of the essence:

Being both a professional communicator and a trained rhetorician, I have fun examining and dissecting these tactics. That they made it to a piece of junk mail means they’re effective for a statistically significant percentage of marks people.

Know what always gives ’em away, though? If PRSRT STD appears in the corner:

That means that exactly this piece of mail went to a great many people. There’s nothing unique inside except your name and address. Toss it sealed without a second thought.

Love to show you what’s inside this one, but that’s just what I did with it.

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