Sep 292008

I had a post mostly ready to go tonight—just needing a little polish, really—but my priorities have shifted rather radically since I arrived home.

You see, I have received an EMERGENCY TELEGRAM from Arizona senator and Republican presidential nominee John McCain.

As you can see, it is EXTREMELY URGENT and, should, therefore, occupy my full attention.

I’m guessing this has something to do with the bailout.  Perhaps Senator McCain needs my assistance in crafting some language for a compromise bill.  Who knows?  Whatever the case, clearly this is quite a high calling for which I am honored to be chosen, and I must address it immediately.

I plan to resume a normal posting schedule when the crisis is resolved.

 Posted by at 5:16 pm
Sep 282008

Here are some recent search terms (put into Google, Yahoo!, and so forth) that led someone to this blog:

manly fart beer burp sports
I’m guessing you’re not a doilies-and-petits-fours sort of person.

slavic mullet
Your fetish, which is not at all odd or disturbing, seems to lack a home.  Why not show some initiative?  It seems is available.

why does wifes becomes bitches
Yeah, good question!  Those fucking whores.

bo’s appetite
Large, but surprisingly refined.  Like Pavarotti.

how many days until the particle accelerator destroy the earth
Oh, good while yet.  No worries there.  I do have a little bad news, though—we only have about 1,825,000,000,000 days before the sun becomes a red giant and destroys all life on the earth.

the coolest guy on the planet
Alan Thicke.

jarred processed cheese product
You just lock in that mattress polo right now, big man.  I bet her panties fall right to the floor.  Don’t forget the Wild Irish Rose and a selection of Little Debbies for dessert.

an inconvenient truth motivation for movie

Why, it’s to save dear, fragile, beautiful Mother Earth from selfish, wasteful crimes committed by greedy, short-sighted people.  How dare you ask such a question!

what is wrong with this country?
Too many idiots asking search engines inane questions.

peed on the floor
Yeah, me too.

 Posted by at 10:20 pm
Sep 282008

Good news, rest of the country:  we’ve likely deep-sixed those stupid black jerseys for you forever.

You’re welcome.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to believe.  I said it last night, and I meant it:  ‘Bama is back.  In Nick Saban’s second season, the Crimson Tide is one of the top two teams in the SEC and a legitimate national title contender.  There is no reasonable data that suggests otherwise.

The fan in me says that the natural order of the universe has been restored.  The cynic in me says that the wheels could still come off.

Could they?  Oh, sure, they always could.  But is it likely?  Hmmm.

Drunk on 5-0 and with perhaps a #3 or #4 ranking coming this afternoon, it’s easy to forget that this team is still not particularly deep.  Alabama has been fortunate with (lack of) injuries, so we don’t really have a feel for how the team will react to the loss of a star player.  Alabama declined far more than it should have in 2005 after Tyrone Prothro’s career-ending injury.

However, Alabama has something today that it did not have then:  a truly excellent coaching staff.  Much has been made of Saban’s personnel strategy, and indeed, he seems to be doing a great job building depth with what he has.

Moreover, there are two solid indicators of said excellence this season that, in my view, are not getting enough attention:

  • Alabama is one of the least penalized teams in the country.  The Tide has been flagged 18 times for 127 yards—all year.  Georgia managed about two-thirds of that just last night.
  • Alabama is averaging a single turnover per game.

Through five games, this team does not beat itself.  That trait always comes from the top.

Perhaps most importantly, while last night was a dominant performance in a hostile environment against a very good team, Alabama still slopped around enough to give Saban plenty to harp on in practice this week.  Though the outcome was never in question—the 11-point margin of victory was the closest Georgia came to coming back—the Bulldogs got plenty of trash points in the second half.  We’re still too vulnerable to corner and down-and-out routes, and kick coverage remains mediocre.

Kentucky, still undefeated themselves, is next.  The only game is the next one.  This squad looked to be in danger of forgetting that in their second game against Tulane.  There hasn’t been the tiniest indication that they’ve forgotten it since.

“It’s morning in Alabama.” – Greg Bacon

 Posted by at 12:26 pm
Sep 272008

I spent today in Oxford and Anniston, where I lived until I was 15 years old.  The high school class to which I would have belonged had we stayed is holding its 20-year reunion this weekend, and a tailgate party ahead of the homecoming football game tonight was the first event.

I decided to leave this morning and catch up with the oldest of old friends for lunch, and also do a little driving around.  I know everybody says it, but isn’t that “everything is small” feeling weird?  I visited my old neighborhood, and felt like I was stomping around in a model train layout.  The “long” drive I thought I remembered from I-20 to 10th Street turned out to be less than four miles.

Lunch, and an unexpected treasure, with Lori
I last saw Lori in 1980.  I met her at Grace Episcopal Church, where we attended the Episcopal Day School together, and we walked from there to lunch at the Classic on Noble Street.  This carried us directly by the library, which our class visited biweekly.

We took a step inside to have a look around the children’s library.  Some of the fixtures were different, of course, but it was largely as I remembered it.  As we were walking and talking, the children’s librarian told us to let her know if she could help with anything.  We began telling her who we were and why we were visiting, and as we chatted, it gradually occurred to me who she was.  It was Mrs. Striplin, the very same lady who had run the children’s library and read to us during story time 28 years ago.

We both hugged her and talked about those days, and then she offered to read us a story.  The old story time room is now a server lab, so a regular old table would have to do…but wow.  Just wow.  Lori and I sat as Mrs. Striplin read Duck for President to us in her magically expressive way, and I was 8 years old again.  What a tremendous and unexpected gift.

Lori and I each had the Classic’s signature dish, shrimp and grits, for lunch, and it was wonderful.  I’d say we talked as if no time had passed, but as we were fourth-graders when we last saw each other, that would hardly be accurate.  Suffice to say we fell in as grown-up friends easily, mixing reminiscences with discussions of current events, sociology, and football.  It was such a pleasure to see her.

Oxford 26, Huntsville 3—and the end of my Wal-Mart streak
One of the things I missed most after we moved was Oxford football games.  Attending an Oxford game, from the size and attitude of the crowd to the quality of the band, was (and is) like attending a college game.  The place just thrums.  It’s intoxicating.  Used to be it was literally half the town that showed up.  Now it’s more like a quarter of the town (not because the crowd is smaller but because the city is so much larger).

Oxford dominated Huntsville from the opening kickoff.  The final score could have been a lot worse.  I got to hear the 2008 instantiation of the band I belonged to in 1986 play “Amazing Grace,” an old homecoming tradition.  And of course I got to hear “Champions,” the amazing Oxford fight song, several times.

Now one of the things I wanted to do this afternoon was get an Oxford cap.  I had some time before I met Karin, so I went to the mall.  Seems like a mall with three sports gear places across the street from the school would be a promising locale for such an item, doesn’t it?  Nope.  The helpful young lady at Martin’s, however, told me that she was certain they had them at Wal-Mart.


At exactly 4:30 this afternoon, my streak died.  Until then, I had not set foot in a Wal-Mart since October 15, 2006.  Now given the stakes, I’d have been mightily pissed had I not been able to purchase a cap.  Fortunately, I got one.  Let the new streak begin.

I had a marvelous time visiting with everyone—at the tailgate party, the game, and at dinner and drinks afterward.  Alas, I won’t be able to attend the dinner event tomorrow night, but Karin promised she’d take lots of pictures.  (I hope she does, because I didn’t get very many.)

Until next time, Oxford and Anniston.  Don’t go changin’.

 Posted by at 2:06 am
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