Kids, don’t eat dishwasher detergent.
That’s where we are today, here, now, societally.
You know, I tend to magnify my parental shortcomings. In a certain frame of mind, it’s far easier for me to recall things I wish I’d handled differently, or just out-and-out mistakes, than it is for me to remember triumphs.
But then I see sincere guidance to adolescent human beings warning them not to place dishwasher detergent in their mouths, and I swell with self-regard. I think I must surely embody 99th-percentile parenthood excellence, my place in the Fatherhood Hall of Fame already guaranteed.
Now, certainly, our children have had misadventures of youth. There was an ill-conceived escalator encounter, for example. And there are perilous arenas whose doors we are only just now opening. I am most definitely not crowing too loudly. Ample opportunities for immaturity-driven bad news remain.
Hell, I’ve even issued dishwasher detergent advice at my house.
I’m just saying I never had to tell any kid of mine old enough to shave not to eat soap.
You might also like:
- Real or imaginary childhood? Does it matter?
I’ve learned that I have an unusually good memory for details. Blogged about that before. I can reme… - Dishwasher persuasion
I guess we’d been in the house about two years when the dishwasher, whose brand rhymes with “bitchi… - “These kids today” and their driver’s licenses
I try not to say too much about “these kids today,” because a) I remember how assish that sounded to… - A seven-year blogger reflects on growing, and changing, in public
I started BoWilliams.com in October 2006, really on a whim. I was sitting in the living room, and ha… - Do kids still get picked on for their shoes?
Beyond the making a living part, I am not in charge of procuring clothing for the boys. In fact, I m…