Dec 202008

Full story here.  Go on, click.  You know you want to, you freak.

I try (eh, mostly) to stay above the shank of the base pop culture nonsense, as well as the whole voyeuristic reality thing.  Unfortunately, The Smoking Gun is a heaping shot of both, and a longstanding guilty pleasure.

Incidentally—and I add this information more for the sick fucks reading this post after Googling God-knows-what, and not my regular readers—I do happen to know the secret to satisfactory ovine coitus.  The million-dollar trick is to wear galoshes that are a couple of sizes too big.  Then you can drop your “date’s” back legs into the extra space in the galoshes, and she can’t escape your, ahem, advances.

Sometime before the turn of the millennium, I attended an office party at which this unforgettable chestnut was drunkenly proffered.  Moreover, I never got that reassuring “all in good fun” feeling from its source, receiving at most an ambiguous raised eyebrow.  I’m delighted to share it with you this evening.

I’m a giver.

Also, I have never attempted to, nor shall I ever, fuck a sheep.

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 Posted by at 8:32 pm

  5 Responses to ““You caught me, Alan. I tried to fuck your sheep.””

  1. Damn… the conversation at my office parties NEVER got that interesting…

  2. Never is a long time…. 😉

  3. I had a good natured laugh at your expense. There are four things within view with this post being on top. A quote from Aristotle, a post titled “You caught me, Alan. I tried to fuck your sheep.”, the content warning pushing the limits of your slightly tacky disclaimer, and (here’s the kicker) your twitter proudly proclaiming you are at church! God bless America!

  4. Lea: It was my boss, too.

    Cheryl: Oh, I’m confident. After all, a girlfriend-less young man once was I, and I can’t say the lure of the quadruped was ever a factor–even a minor one. 🙂

    Charles: The Twitter status of “church” next to that post actually wasn’t lost on me when I did it, but I’m pleased you got a good quote to go with it too. 🙂

  5. […] your sheep I knew these searches would come in, and even mentioned it in the post, but would you believe most […]

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