Dear Mr. Burgess:
I am writing you regarding your daughter Brandi’s recent disclosures of both her sexuality and your interactions about it.
I realize this is probably not a discussion you would have preferred to have in public. However, it’s where we are, and it may ultimately be a blessing.
We’ve walked a lot of the same roads, you and I. I was a few years behind you at Oxford High School, but I was there. We surely had common teachers. We may have had common friends. It’s even possible we shared a service or two together, as my time at Oxford coincided with my attendance at Southern Baptist churches. I spent most of my time at Greenbrier Road, but found myself at Meadowbrook or Trinity from time to time too.
Like you, I heard truly good men denounce homosexuality. Like you, I heard and felt their sincerity. Like you, I received their scriptural justifications.
What if they were wrong? I mean, that’s certainly possible, isn’t it? Think about what our faith has to offer. Consider all of the wonderful things Christians all over the world do in His name, in an effort to be His hands and feet. Think of His grace. Think of His compassion.
Jesus is pretty good at telling us what’s important to Him. He tells us a lot about helping others for its own sake. He tells us of service with no expectation of reciprocation. He tells us of giving. He tells us of modesty. I cannot document anywhere that He had a single word to say about homosexuality. Please, take that into your heart. Think about it. Pray about it.
I’ll play devil’s advocate as well, though. Let’s assume, for argument’s sake, that it is a sin. A woman taking a woman as her spouse, or a man taking a man, is sinning just by doing that.
So what? If it is a sin, it’s just another one. Are any of us without it?
Mr. Burgess, from time to time, a representative of this evangelical church or that will knock on my door. Almost all of them open their spiel with hell. “If you were to die tonight, do you know where you would go?” is common. They like to say “hellfire” and “damnation,” and sometimes I’ll even get one who’s fond of “brimstone.”
And my first thought is always the same. “You and I share this incredible faith—this faith of kindness, grace, and service—and you’re leading with this?”
I feel exactly the same way about Christians, purporting to act in the name of Jesus, who lead with anti-homosexuality. Even if you believe the Bible tells you God disapproves of homosexuality, is that really one of the most interesting things about the Bible?
Is this a hill worth dying on? What makes homosexuality worth the disproportionate attention it receives?
Mr. Burgess, Brandi is still your sweet baby girl. Her sexuality is no more separable from her than her sense of humor, or her eye color.
Please consider—prayerfully and at length—that your love for Brandi may well be entirely consistent with her sexuality. Please consider that Jesus told us to love the Lord, and to love our neighbors as ourselves, and that this is a complete list of the “greatest commandments.”
Please consider—prayerfully and at length—that the eventual epiphany here may be yours, not hers.
I hold you and Brandi both up in prayer as you navigate these difficult seas. May God be with you, sir, and thank you for reading.
In Christ,
Bo Williams
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Very well written.
This makes me think of the book, Love Wins, by Rob Bell. Interesting info about “Hell” that many people are unaware and will find surprising. He is a pastor and uses scripture.
Amazon’s includes this in a description: In Love Wins, bestselling author, international teacher, and speaker Rob Bell (Velvet Elvis, Drops Like Stars) addresses one of the most controversial issues of faith—hell and the afterlife—arguing, would a loving God send people to eternal torment forever?
One book reviewer (Nel) wrote: “People who are decrying this book and Rob Bell because of his (rather vague) stance on hell or because of his so-called universalism are entirely missing the point. Even if you altogether remove those elements, Bell is still making a powerful statement about what it means to be a Christian. We are so concerned with where we’re going when we die that we’re ignoring what we’re doing while we’re here. Jesus didn’t come to reconcile us in some unknowable future–he came to reconcile us to God today, which is why he came as a healer.”
and
“We were placed here with purpose by God! Bell is sounding the call for Christians to get off their backsides and BE CHRISTIANS instead of just pining for heaven or being satisfied that they won’t burn in hell.”
and
“When was the last time you fed the poor or comforted the grieving? Or don’t you think the suffering of those people matters?”
Thank you for your kind words, Lynda. Maybe we’ll see a church past this issue in our lifetimes.
No is any of your children homosexual? If not then I don’t think you have the right to coach any parent on how to handle this situation. It’s between the parents the child and God.
White, in addition to the needless interpersonal suffering that I believe is easily relieved, it is behavior in the name of my God at the expense of what I believe are far more important ideals for Christianity. I make it my business on that basis.
Bo – this is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read and a perfect example of why I love your blog. I so admire your talent for writing. I am a Democrat and a Christian. I find I have very little in common with the Christians I grew up with because of issues like this. I often wonder why they don’t talk about the wonder of God and Jesus – instead they talk about fear and hate, about being against gay marriage and immigration, about prosperity. Where is the love and caring for others? Why would anyone looking at Christianity from the outside want to be a part of that?
Thank you so much for your kind words. I would love to see the church past this schism in my lifetime. It is tearing the church to pieces at a time when the world very badly needs it.