General Motors, please save the Corvette

Is anything as American as the Chevrolet Corvette?

It’s brash. It’s fast. It’s loud. It’s fun. It’s as subtle as a drag queen beauty pageant at the Vatican.

Know what, though? It really does do most things better. It’s in your face, but wow, is it capable. It struts, but it backs it up.

The Corvette began life as a direct response to American World War II veterans who came home gushing about the fun little European roadsters with which they’d become acquainted. And General Motors said yeah, we can do that.

The Corvette bowed in mid-1953 with a straight 6 and an automatic transmission. (There are two solid bets to win with a non-car person if you have the opportunity.)

It got a V8 in 1955, and it’s never not had one since. The next year it began an earnest engagement with the sports car world at large, demonstrating impressive acumen against most benchmarks. Except for a gray period from the mid-’70s through the early ’80s, the Corvette has always been in the mix as a premier performance car.

Thing is, it’s always been an attainable fantasy. The Corvette has never been inexpensive, but neither has it been impossible. It’s been the perfect automotive embodiment of the American dream. You work just a little bit harder—and forgo that long weekend in the fall for a few years—and you can slide behind that wheel. Rev it up.

That is, until 2014.

The 2014 Corvette is the first edition of the seventh generation. It is, by nearly any measure, world-class. Its numbers, its curb appeal, its intangibles are there.

By the way, it starts at $51,995.

Mind, few 2014 Corvettes will change hands for that. Most will arrive at dealers closer to $60,000, or perhaps even more. There is substantial profit in options.

General Motors is in grave danger of missing the point.

It wasn’t so long ago that Cadillac missed the same point. It seemed its average buyer was 71 years old and increasing. When your average customer is knocking on dead, you have a serious problem.

And here we are with the Corvette—an American icon.

General Motors, please listen to me. You have mostly reached a point at which people who want a new Corvette can’t afford one. The people who have the money are old more often than they’re not. And the escalating price and age of your buyer don’t end in a fabulous explosion of profit. They end in zero.

Cadillac, against what I would argue were considerable odds, found its way back. It has a highly competitive lineup top to bottom.

And now Corvette needs to follow its lead.

GM, you need a Corvette with, say, a fixed roof, a cloth interior (Alcantara accents?), a selection of three colors, a conventional suspension, and a good-but-not-great stereo. Used to be “loaded” meant power windows & locks, tilt, and cruise. That’ll be enough for this car. Sheesh, give it lowball wheels if you have to. It needs to have an eye-catching MSRP “starting at $36,995,” with a typical dealer stock car listing at $42,000 or so.

I get that you’re selling every one you can build right now, so why change? How about because your current customers are headed for aging themselves into nonexistence?

Corpses don’t spend money.

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