Nathan and Aaron had their season-end Upward ceremony this morning at church.
Many dedicated people work long and hard to make an Upward season happen, and I think the size of this one took a lot of people by surprise. I’m extremely thankful for all of the volunteers’ efforts, and my meager contributions—an occasional coach sub or an afternoon in the kitchen—pale in comparison.
All of that said, the entertainer at this year’s season-end ceremony seemed a bit off to me. He was a guitar-playin’, singin’, audience participationin’ sort of fellow. Had us clapping, shaking hands, hugging, exercising, and stuff. He had a bit with an imaginary friend named Larry.
Dig, all of that’s fine, but there was a subtle undercurrent of unmistakable weirdness about him.
Fortunately, I had a like-minded texting partner also in attendance. (This is an exact transcript, apart from three <name redactions>.)
(begin text transcript)
Bo (10:09 AM): I’m about to strangle the <redacted> boy.
BamaDan (10:11 AM): Sleeper hold? Who’s the entertainer? Salome of the Mystic Feather Dance?
Bo (10:11 AM): Marilyn Manson
BamaDan (10:13 AM): Europe? Where’s We’ve Got Spirit cheer?
Bo (10:20 AM): FREEBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD
BamaDan (10:22 AM): Hey you were right. It is Marilyn. So Harvester of Sorrow isn’t an acceptable name for this song?
Bo (10:23 AM): “He’s a Vengeful and Bloodthirsty Savior”
BamaDan (10:24 AM): Sol Invictus didn’t roll off the tongue I guess.
Bo (10:27 AM): The case for this guy being a raging fetishist is not a difficult one to make.
BamaDan (10:30 AM): I’m contacting his parole officer and checking the Davidson County predator’s list.
Bo (10:36 AM): “ok, now everyone take your shirts off!”
BamaDan (10:38 AM): Is Larry in a leather gimp mask?
Bo (10:45 AM): Are you almost done, Kevin?
Bo (10:46 AM): I was going to hug <Stepford Mom #1> very thoroughly, but she evaded me.
BamaDan (10:49 AM): Don’t take it personal – maybe if you were at more PTO mtgs? This place needs a buffet table.
Bo (10:49 AM): Feet, check. Underwear, check. Watersports, check.
BamaDan (10:51 AM): Would it be yellow journalism to tell <Mrs. BamaDan> that the entertainment made kids play with his instrument?
Bo (11:01 AM): Man, is that guy ever a blog post waiting to happen. I think I shall refrain.
BamaDan (11:04 AM): Ummm, why? He’s gotta have a web page. Deserves a link of love. Making light of the yr end entertainment is a time honored tradition.
Bo (11:05 AM): I’d be too mean.
BamaDan (11:06 AM): Can never have too much of a good thing.
Bo (11:32 AM): I don’t want a churchmate to happen upon it and think I’m unappreciative of the work someone did to find him.
(end text transcript)
And I don’t. And I’m not.
But dude was weird.
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You realize this is the one post that everyone at church will find and read, right? That’s what happens. The universe loves chaos and forcing bloggers to apologize.
‘seester, I wondered how I would blog about it, and realized early on that the way I chose to do it was the way to go. It’s thoroughly (and accurately) contextualized. It’ll be fine. 🙂
Oh, come on. We just texted what everyone else was thinking. He gave a off a Jeffrey Jones/Gary Glitter vibe and it wasn’t a big stretch.
Separated at birth: above and this guy:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Leach_%28coach%29
BamaDan: Man, that’s creepy. At least Kevin didn’t try to shove us in a dark closet.