First grade begins tomorrow for a little boy who lives in my house. Lea is “dry-running” the necessary routine this morning.
I love my wife. Have I ever mentioned that?
His teacher came highly recommended by some churchmates, and we met her at an open house last night. We liked her. She’s personable and seems meticulously organized. She’s also somewhere north of 45 years old or so, which I was glad to see, because I left reasonably confident that when necessary, she’ll temper whatever federal and/or pop psychology dumbassery has come down in the past few years with experience and common sense.
I’m still making friends with public school. Mind, we’ve had a positive experience so far, and I’m beginning to relax. I am learning to appreciate that horror stories receive a disproportionate amount of attention. It’s not inevitable that I’ll be handing my child over to some doe-eyed dipshit right out of school who’ll be much more concerned with my son’s self-image than s/he is with how well he reads. (Ecclesiastes 3 and all that good stuff, and I’m not saying there aren’t important lessons of life and socialization beyond books to be learned in school, but for me it’s a matter of priorities. I hope I’m clear.)
My best friend Charles is a bright light for me as well. He is a teacher in an adjacent system, and he’s not the kind of guy I worry about either. For one, for the two decades I’ve known him, he’s been one of the most eminently practical and character-driven people I know. For another, he was unambiguously a grown-up, with an associated collection of grown-up perspectives, when he started. The presence of an environment that attracts and retains a person of his caliber is encouraging.
Finally, I’ll mention that Lea is the primary adult interface between our household and the school system, and she’s done/doing a wonderful job building relationships. Involved parents are key no matter what school a child attends, and though I’m highly interested in my children’s academic careers, my sustained concern and action generally stops at discussing their lessons with them (and having the occasional talk with Lea). She’s doing the external legwork, and she’s good at it. For that I am grateful.
Off to first grade tomorrow morning, Nathan! I’m proud of you.
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Whew! We’re near the end of a bang-bang-bang eight days or so at our house. Lea told me two days ago…
My son had his first real struggle with a teacher last year(6th grade). All prior struggles and grade issues were a result of his own dumb-assery and procrastination. The situation last year was much different. It’s very difficult to see a child broken by frustration rather than by the actual material. We’ll say its a darn good thing his momma has a degree in mathematics and knows how to teach it. I came **this close** to home-schooling him. But, then, we’d both end up twisted and dead from the explosive force of the head-butting that would be inevitable. So.
Yes, parents who are willing to build those relationships with their school are really the key to success no matter what schooling options one chooses.
Ooof. We’re starting fourth and sixth grade, respectively, in a few weeks. I’m not expecting any kind of dramatics, though; both girls are going to the schools they attended last year and both are fairly confident academically.
I’m sort of iffy about the parent/teacher relationship. I generally try to stay out of it as much as I can, though there have been occasions when a phone call or email have been warranted. It’s a delicate balance to walk between being an “involved” parent and a “pain in the ass” parent, and I like to err on the side of caution.
Congrats, Nathan! You’re gonna be great!
I have no intention of my children’s education becoming my second career. However, I believe if the principal knows me as an involved parent that it will carry some weight if I have to go into a conference with him and a teacher. A principal can only rely on what the teacher says about me and my child unless he already has an informed opinion about the basic character of our family (i.e. we are involved in our kid’s lives, we care about the content and execution of their education, we expect them to be well- behaved). In a conference, I want a good teacher to know that I am supportive and open to fixing a problem. I want a bad teacher to be scared that I’m about to ruin her career if she messes unjustly with me and my kids.
I have two sisters that are elementary school teachers. I talk to them regularly about what’s going on. They are the first ones to tell me when I need to go be a bitch. Otherwise, I have the common sense to offer assistance when I can but not to be pushy.
Fortunately, I don’t think it’s going to be an issue this year. I’ve heard nothing but glowing reports about this first grade teacher. According to the mommy grape-vine, the second grade teachers are all pretty good, too. It sounds like there may be a few bad apples starting in third grade, though.
One more thing, since Nathan’s teacher only graduated from high school two years before I did, I feel compelled to say that she’s probably only 45 years old at the most! 🙂
In my mind involvement does not equal micro-interference. Involvement, like you said, Lea, includes being just visible enough that the administration and teachers know you care. I also believe that parental involvement equals letting the kids know that they have expectations to live up to, and that includes the fact that 99% of the time, the teacher is going to get my backing. There is no blaming the teacher in this household. (Well, there is blaming from the younger set. Our job is to break them of that habit. It’s the same with referees…).
Like I said, we had a rough year. My son was really giving up, but he learned a hard lesson about merits, as well. The world is not a fair place.
The teachers have a job that gets harder every year. I know from experience that helicopter parents are bad, bad news, because I had them in MY office in college.