A friend of mine has a 15-year-old son who has screwed up twice, and fairly significantly, in the past several weeks. Needless to say, the kid’s on the shortest of leashes right now, and my friend and I discussed his situation over lunch today.
I don’t want to say anything more specific than that because I don’t want to air his business, but the discussion of teen discipline was interesting to me. My children are much younger than 15, and the worst I’ve got to deal with so far is the occasional tantrum or backtalk. I know, however, that sooner than I realize, the magnitude of the offenses could ratchet up dramatically. How to correct the undesirable behavior?
I suggested to my friend that he ground his son until his 21st birthday. No television, no Internet, no music, no doing things with friends—no nothing but chores, studying, bathing, eating, and sleeping—for the next six years.
Now that’s pretty damned fierce, isn’t it? I mean, that’s soul-warping stuff. That’s Mommie Dearest on acid. That’s overturned-by-a-Canadian-court fierce. Ah, but: there’s a substantial positive mechanism at the convict’s disposal.
For every day of exemplary behavior, the sentence is reduced by one month. So, assuming he flies right from day one, he’s only grounded for 72 days. Or, make it his 18th birthday, which would be only 36 days. A single indiscretion of the sort for which he is being punished, or a different indiscretion of similar magnitude, restarts the clock.
What do you think? Would it have motivated you? I think it would have me.
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This is sounding like a good option the more I think about it. Just for editorial correctness, he’s 14.
I have no opinion on this.
In fact, I’m making my best effort to have no opinion about anything.
Gerry, that’s no fun!
I have a friend that has been dealing with a son that lies and has been getting into trouble for a couple of years. She got fed up recently and removed everything from his room except a bed and a pillow and told him he was headed straight to prison and she wanted him to know what it was going to be like ahead of time so he can prepare. A little extreme but, thought it was worth sharing.
Jenny, that’s a good one. Sometimes extreme is all that will get through to them.