(Warning: Narrative including a racial epithet follows.)
Have you ever encountered someone who holds some heinous prejudice and just assumes you do too? Rather troubling, isn’t it? The assumptive nature of it is the most depressing part. The implication is that these are people who have inhabited a world in which such is natural and expected behavior.
It used to happen to me more often. I consider its declining frequency a positive sign. It’s the eventual death of these people that’s going to end whatever racism we have left, not new laws and initiatives. When enough like-thinking people do not survive in numbers sufficient to produce a sense of community, the prejudice finally dies.
The worst one I can remember happening to me was more than 20 years ago, when I was a kid aurally bathing in a constant stream of hair metal and serving up frozen yogurt. A regular customer came in the shop. He was a burly, work-outside kind of guy—jeans, boots, flannel shirt, etc. I didn’t know him, but he’d always been nice to me, and I’d reciprocated. Today he had a scowl on his face.
“Fuckin’ sand niggers. Do you believe ’em?” He cocked his head over his shoulder. I looked out into the dining room, and saw a young Indian couple with a toddler. I looked back at him. I’d like to think I had a disapproving look on my face, but at 16 years old it was probably more one of shock than anything else.
“I’ll go piss on their table if you want me to.” He looked reservedly excited.
“Uh…um. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said.
“Yeah, probably not. I mean, you’d be stuck cleaning it up and all. All right, man. See you next time.” He left.
Okeydokey.
It’s the Reaper having to help us with the last little bit of attrition, but they’re going away.
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I’m lucky in that I don’t encounter a whole lot of that sort of thing – and really never have. That may well be less a function of the attitudes of people and more a function of the LACK of diversity in New England in general, but I’ll take it either way…
I saw a young Indian couple with a toddler last week and was reminded of it.
I really don’t run into a lot of it either. I think few carry any of these flags anymore.
I experienced a great deal of this growing up, but things have changed so, so much. I really ought to write about the threats my Dad got – in ’69-’70s, he was the principal of an inner city high school in Mississippi. N-lover was a word I heard as a child, but did not understand. I probably said something extremely dense like, “YES! And we love their parties, too.” For some reason principals and asst. superintendents like my dad, felt that hosting and attending parties was the best way to get to know and work with all people. We had a lot of very colorful parties. Ooooh, this reminds me of a poem for the book club.
Happens to me fairly often … seems that being raised a Mormon makes a lot of folks assume that you would appreciate their anti-gay rhetoric and forwarded email crusades. I love how they immediately stop emailing me when I reply to their missives with a polite, “why no, I don’t believe that I deserve fewer rights than you do as a citizen of this country.” =)
Tami, that must be a fun trump to play. 🙂
Generally I just indicate brief disapproval of the direction the conversation is taking and change the subject.