Nov 222008
Hey, did you see where the colossal dumbass college student climbed into the panda exhibit for a hug, and wound up in the hospital for days with bites all over his arms and legs? Story here.
“Yang Yang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn’t expect he would attack,” Liu said from the hospital.
Hey man, a little wisdom for you: wild animals don’t get “cute,” and for the most part, they don’t get “cross-species affection.” Mostly animals are thinking “eat; don’t get eaten. Eat; don’t get eaten. Eat; don’t get eaten.” If they get the idea that you’re going to mess with that, then well, they bite and stuff.
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My favorite animal attack story is the guy who, a couple of years or so ago, jumped into the lions pit at a zoo to convert them to Christianity. The guy survived and lions are still heathens, amazingly.
Scott: Did you ever hear that terrible joke for which the punchline was “carrying young gulls over state lions for immortal porpoises”? Your comment reminded me of it. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
Nope, never heard that joke. When I first read the article about the guy with the lions I thought the heathen thing was a good punchline though.
[...] if this woman avoids charges, she and the idiot who climbed into the panda bear’s cage to give him a hug can hang out. [...]