On my evening commute, when the light’s right, or the traffic level is similar, or something—never been able to determine exactly what—I’m reminded of something I almost did a couple of years ago and now wish I had. I remembered it tonight.
I had a fierce headache. I had taken some aspirin before I left work, and had picked up a Pepsi One to slam for the caffeine’s analgesic-enhancing effect.
(Alas, the stench of death is upon Pepsi One. Availability has dwindled dramatically, and there seems to be no advertising support for it anymore. Finally, it’s tough to see what it has to do, with Pepsi Max in the lineup. I expect it to be discontinued anytime now. Too bad, because it’s a tasty diet cola.)
By the way, it also produces enormous belches.
So this particular night, I had just taken the twelve ounces in about three swallows, and the rumble started. By the time the light turned green, it was ready. And I just almost leaned out the window as far as I could to the car next to me and let it rip on the young couple there. It would have been a solid three or four seconds, with that gloriously guttural depth about it.
Instead, I stopped myself at the last second, its majesty perishing in restrained release and detectable only in my car.
I dare say they’d have told that story for years.
You might also like:
- Had to be Excedrin
I used to work with a woman who swore by Excedrin. Nothing else worked on her headaches. One day she… - The Versa cometh
We drove to Florence tonight, which is where my old college friend Micah is working these days, and … - Underwear fetish? Great, but…
Probably lots of people who are neither necessarily highly informed nor excessively perverse know th… - 1. Cut caffeine 75%. 2. Pass out.
I have consumed at least 700 mg of caffeine daily nearly all of my adult life, with occasional excur… - A budding chef in our midst
So on the end of a conversation about daily chores this evening, Nathan threw in that he’d like to l…