Those readers who know me well know that I appreciate the finer things of life. My career affords me and my family a certain (high) level of luxury—a level of luxury that we have come to regard as something to which we are entitled, rather than something we enjoy from time to time.
That said, I try not to flaunt our unbelievable wealth. I am not normally boastful of our steady stream of new possessions—most of them doubtless things you could not begin to afford—because such is unbecoming, and also because I’d hate for you to think we couldn’t be friends because of the tremendous difference in the qualities of our respective lifestyles.
However, in this case I simply must make an exception.
I am proud to announce to you that Lea and I have invested in our first recliner cover that is made exclusively of fine corduroy.
You read that correctly. The entire thing is made of fine corduroy.
Now even though we are thoroughly accustomed to our extravagant lifestyle, this was something that did give us a little pause. Could we purchase such a thing and dare to put it in daily service? Should we get a rider on our homeowner’s insurance for it? Would we cringe every time one of the boys sat in it with food?
I’m pleased to say we’ve made our peace with owning such an objectively absurd item. I wanted dearly to show you a photograph of the item as we use it, but no photograph I took (with a camera that costs much more than yours, I’m certain—not that yours isn’t fine for you, but just saying) even began to capture its elegance. You’ll just have to see it on this year’s Parade of Homes. (I telephoned the coordinator of such, and as soon as she heard that we were actually using a slipcover made of fine corduroy, that was enough to make us a tour stop.)
Thank you for reading my blog—even those of you who are much, much poorer than we are, and mathematically that’s most of you.
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Pfft…I notice you needed the stretch corduroy. If I had a recliner (and I hope to one day, if they ever declare laziness worthy of total disability and the big bucks that come with same) it’ll be able to wear a fitted slipcover. Your recliner, sir, is a fatass.
I’d put velvet ropes around it or something. Who knows, someday you could end up on Antiques Roadshow.
Yeah, well, before you know it you’ll be heading to Mumbai with an entourage…..
Well, since we’re bragging about our largess, you should see my faux leather recliner. I only allow approved vistors to sit in it.
That’s fine. Make fun of the chair cover. I’m just going to take that as a sign that I get to replace existing furniture instead of trying to cover it up. 🙂
Kegerator + Natty Lite or you are just common urban haute bourgeoisie.