Apr 122010

Bradley, Trent, Tommy, and I went to Moe’s today for a Billy Barou.  As we waited, the male half of a young (20ish) couple in front of me ordered this huge burrito I’d never seen.  As the burristo was wrapping it up I said “mmm, that looks good.”

Now understand the female half of the couple in front of me was standing closer to me.  In direct response to my utterance (I am sure; it was unmistakable), the young man put his arm around his girlfriend, pulled her away from me, and very close to him.  The two then strenuously avoided looking back my way.

I almost laughed out loud, it was so comical.

Dude, here’s some free advice:  you need to relax.  A lot. You’re going to get your ass kicked.  Or your heart broken.  Or maybe both.  The former, because you’ll eventually behave that way to some redneck who’s going to enjoy picking on you about it, and you’re going to get mouthy.  The latter, because most any woman worth being with long-term will ultimately resent your overbearing “protection.”

I’ve lived a bit, but still have much to learn.  I accept that.  Hell, I embrace that.  But I’m pretty sure I’ve got petty jealousy sussed.  For that I am thankful.

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 Posted by at 8:11 pm

  11 Responses to “Throwing gasoline on the flames of jealousy”

  1. You brute. (snort)

  2. Yeah…he’s got a lot to learn and potentially learn the hard way. One night in Auburn, I and a couple of buddies were standing in line at Taco Bell. In front of us was a young man (in full frat boy mode) and his girlfriend. A Taco Bell employee was refilling the ice machine and a piece of ice bounced out and hit said girl on the shoulder. The guy started yelling at the employee to the point where I asked him to “Chill out, the ice only hit her on the shoulder and it was an accident”. Next thing I know he is swinging a punch at me. Punch was ducked and his left eye was black just a few seconds later. I never did get my burrito that night, but I think I had a better night than he did all because of his overbearance.

  3. You want my sister to talk to her? Then there’s no fear of that gal thinking anyone likes her.

  4. sorry – this is saintseester, on bb_fan’s computer

  5. ha ha ha ha @ Santseester. For a while there I was thinking “What could his sister possibly say?” Thanks for the chuckle.
    I have noticed the Wal- Mart checkers will talk to me. I guess because they are paid to.

  6. Were you staring at her ass when you said it? 😉

  7. Scott: young, dumb, and you know the rest. 🙂 That’s another way it could go, for sure.

    Cheryl: no way. Very much not my type. She was a bony, stringy thing.

  8. I have a slightly elevated awareness of this behavior…

    As a pool players and gamblers, my friends and I actually watch for this behavior. Particularly in the “frat boy” types. With very little effort, it’s quite easy to get these guys into a game they have no hope of winning if the object of their affection is present. Not only are they protective, they have something to prove. Generally, with us, they prove they can lose hundreds (and on occassion, thousands) of dollars proving to their girlfriends that they aren’t scared to play us.

    Oddly, I’ve never seen it escalate to a physical encounter.

  9. Bo, you’re just a dirty old (young) guy….you just have that “look” about you. 🙂

  10. Dude, she looks blurry as hell. If you were going to run this fake stalker thing to its natural progression, you needed to break out the telephoto lens and leather gimp mask.

    It appears that Captain DKE works at a paint store? Lofty career goals indeed.

  11. Carey, I bet “macho bullshit” makes you a lot of money.

    Terri, I always preferred older women. 🙂

    BamaDan, I messed it up a bit for publication. Like I said, I think they were 20 or so, so the paint store shirt isn’t such a telling feature.

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