Paula Poundstone once did a bit about the desire to take a nap being a sure indicator of adulthood. Yeah, I’ll buy that.
I also remember thinking that staying in a hotel was really cool when I was a kid. Now, not so much. Is there a smell? If so, is the smell at least neutral? How much hot water is there? Does the water in the shower spray me, or fall on me? How lumpy is the bed? Will I be able to successfully delude myself that every single person who ever slept in this bed before now was a stunningly gorgeous nude woman? ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” had sex ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” ” “?
Finally, I used to really enjoy helping my dad change all of the clocks. Now, I think it’s a senseless pain in the ass. We should stay on standard time all the time. Bitch, bitch, bitch.
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Touché.