Well, this unrealized post popped up in the Related Posts section for the previous post, so I said “why not?” Here are my top ten hottest women on Dallas. Audrey Landers just missed the cut at #11.
 |
10. Linda Gray (Sue Ellen Ewing). She’d probably be ranked higher, but she was drunk and/or crying most of the time, remember? |
 |
9. Cathy Podewell (Calpurnia Harper Ewing). Didn’t remember that J.R. got roped into marrying a hick from Arkansas, did you? This was ’88 or so, and to me, Cally is unquestionably when Dallas jumped the shark. |
 |
8. Deborah Shelton (Mandy Winger). J.R.’s most memorable mistress carries some Body Double cred into her ranking. What a massive pile of lustrous hair she had! |
 |
7. Charlene Tilton (Lucy Ewing Cooper). The spoiled little snot granddaughter had a very adult body and a very childlike maturity level. Bad Ray! Bad, bad Ray! |
 |
6. Priscilla Presley (Jenna Wade). I struggled with this one. Objectively she should probably be higher on the list, but the Elvis-got-to-her factor is substantial and cannot be ignored. |
|
5. Deborah Rennard (Sly Lovegren). J.R.’s fiercely loyal secretary only slept with him once, and immediately regretted it. She certainly did make the waiting area pleasant. |
 |
4. Susan Howard (Donna Culver Krebbs). This decent and beautiful woman elevated every scene in which she appeared, and she pronounced “Ray” like “Rye.” Of all of the regular female characters, probably the only genuine “marryin’ kind.” (Well, besides Miss Ellie, but this isn’t her kind of list.) |
 |
3. Sheree J. Wilson (April Barnes Ewing). I lost track of this one. She was J.R.’s nemesis, then lover, but apparently she ultimately married Bobby. I didn’t remember that. Short, tight dresses and ’80s hair served her magnificently. |
 |
2. Morgan Brittany (Katherine Wentworth). Breathtaking beauty with otherworldly eyes, but ooh, she was a nasty one. Remember when she hit Bobby with the car and killed him? Except she didn’t. That was the season Pam dreamed. |
 |
1. Victoria Principal (Pamela Barnes Ewing). This woman is still so freakishly good-looking even today, but back then she looked like a china doll. Yes, I’m sure she’s been modified every which way, but I’ll release my usual cares about such in her case. |
You might also like:
- Lazy Dallas fanboy
Do you know what I almost posted tonight? Do you know what I would have posted tonight, had I not go…
- Top ten BoWilliams.com posts of 2015
Despite my feeling a bit out of sorts for the final third of it, 2015 was a good year for BoWilliams…
- Psychobabble
The only time in my life I ever saw a psychologist was right after my parents divorced, and my well-…
- #AshleyMadison business model: Men paying to talk to women (maybe)
I’d call the AshleyMadison.com debacle a train wreck, but that’s not enough. It’s like a train carry…
- Midlife crisis alert!
Gonna get a Corvette and a surgically enhanced girlfriend with a room temperature IQ and hair transp…
I see Bing Crosby’s daughter, Kristen, didn’t make the list. Doesn’t shooting J.R. get you any cred??? Like the list, though.
I thought about her, but she never did ANYTHING with her hair.
Can’t have a list like that without AFTON (Audrey Landers) on it.
She should occupy ALL of the top 10 positions……..
Very cool list! Mandy and Pam are the prettiest, and yeah, I loved the way Donna said “Ray”. Sue Ellen was always my favorite, though.
Why the heck are Sly and Donna even on this list?? They’re incredibly plain.
I’d say #2 and #1 remain unassailable, but 14 years later I might actually jump Donna over April.
You might want to see an eye doctor. You have Mandy, Lucy and Jenna behind a plain-looking woman like Donna, and Afton isn’t even on the list? Dude.