A little more precision in identifying processed cheese products, if you please

Yeah, so I’m tired of setting your slacker asses straight one person at a time, so here it is to be forever Googleable:

Cheez Whiz is a Kraft product, and it comes in a jar. You take the (metal) lid off and heat it up in the microwave. (I suppose you could also set it in a saucepan and heat it up in water.) You put it on cheesesteaks. If you’re using it for that, you don’t have to heat it up in the jar. You can just glop it on the hot meat and it all works out. Write your own joke and insert it here.

Easy Cheese is, well, also a Kraft product. (It used to be called Snack Mate, remember?) It comes in the squirt can and is commonly called “aerosol cheese,” even though it’s not propelled thusly. It’s best on Triscuits. Really, putting it on Triscuits or squirting it directly into your mouth are the only acceptable uses. Don’t do anything else with it.

Part of a good cultural education is being able to discuss cheese, right?  So please don’t call the squirt can Cheez Whiz.

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10 thoughts on “A little more precision in identifying processed cheese products, if you please”

  1. Neither of those products EVER makes it into our house, but we call the jarred stuff “yucky cheese” and the other stuff “spray cheese.” It eliminates the confusion…

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  2. I always thought it would be funny to put together a nice-looking gift basket with a can of Easy Cheese and a bottle of MD 20/20.

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  3. Personally I call it “cheese in a can” Although I think I have fallen into the category of misnaming the bastardly cheese food product. I guess I’ll have to read its ingredients three times as penance now, won’t I?

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  4. Speaking of cheese….I am trying to remember the brand name of a tube of squeezable cheese. It was packaged in a very light plastic (similar to a hamburger chub) and had a red cap on the side where it squeezed out. Been racking my brain (and google’s) for days and can’t come up with it.

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  5. Gord: I had to look up “chub,” and given that, I’d say there’s a decent chance I never saw the product to which you refer. It’s a long way from Alberta to Alabama. 🙂

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  6. We call the stuff in the can “Squirt Cheese”, and YES we still use it on Triscuits. It makes for the perfect snack on 2:00 AM when watching some terrible movie…

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  7. Referring to either of these products as “cheese” is using the term loosely, and well, an insult to cheese. And it’s Spray cheese, not aerosol. 🙂

    Reply

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