Bald

I shaved my head on a whim just before Christmas, 1998. It was the single least popular decision I’ve made in the history of my relationship with my wife. I dare say it was even slightly (but only slightly) more unpopular than the night I woke her up at 1:45 in the morning, when she was pregnant with Aaron and hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in a week and a half, and proudly announced that at lunch the next day, I was going to spend $32,000 on a new Nissan Titan.

Beer and the “Build Your Nissan” button are not a good mix. And no, I didn’t.

Anyway, I grew my hair to about halfway down my back in college, and then cut it to get a job. I had it short for a few years, and then grew it again (not as long the second time, but still way beyond Dutch boy long).

One unseasonably warm and humid day in December, it just wouldn’t behave. So I had Grady, the barber across Market Street from where I worked in Athens at the time, and whom we sometimes joked had an ear bucket, shave my head at lunch. He had his clipper on the closest setting, and then I finished it off to Kojak smooth that night with my Norelco shaver.

Lea was, ah, not amused. I believe I remember a comment something along the lines of “if I’d wanted to be with a GI, then I’d have married a GI.” (‘Cept she didn’t say “be with.”)

Logistically, being bald rocks. It’s ultra-convenient to comb your hair with a towel. If you want to shower the night before, there’s no chance your hair will be too screwed up the next morning.

The best benefit is at night. You know how when you’re lying in bed, you like your pillow to be cool? Your pillow stays cool forever when you don’t have any hair. It’s lovely.

I have a clipper, so I usually cut my own hair at home these days, and Lea touches it up. I stay away from the true crew settings, but tonight I accidentally slipped the depth switch from 5 to 2 mid-swipe. Not much choice but to go 2 all over after that. Consequently, as I write I’m much balder than I intended to be:

I figure I’ll get back to my intended length in a couple of weeks.

You might also like:

• Yes, there was a mullet
  Someone asked for a mullet photo a while back. Here you go. The first shot is at the apartment of Ch…
• The Precious Hearts Tour, 2016
  I stayed in Oxford last night. I find my way back here once a year or so, and every so often I spend…
• Weekend notes
  We’re waiting for what looks to be at least another inch of rain. I hope it hits right when I put my…
• All night Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday
  Just about everybody has stayed up all night at least once. But about twelve years ago, I pulled exa…
• Day after Christmas miscellanea
  The boys had a good Christmas morning, I believe, though this is almost certainly Aaron’s last year…