Man, I just can’t believe how incredible my prospects would be were I “on the market.” Just look at this woman who wants to talk to me, according to an advertisement I saw on MySpace:
You can’t see it here, of course, but it’s a video ad, and in it she’s slinking around and sucking her lollipop seductively! And she wants to talk to me! She says so every time I see her! Can you believe it? Look, here’s another one:
She wants to talk to me too! I mean, what are the odds? How good is my fortune? Maybe they could oil-wrestle or something for a chance to chat with me.
And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go. I’m going to drop in and just say hello to these two lovely women, as they’re obviously pining for me in the worst way. After that, I need to email a business contact I have in Nigeria about securing 20% of $35.4 million. She said it was a hush-hush deal, but I haven’t given her name or anything, so I figure it’s OK.
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