We here at the WmWms offices have taken a little yearbook-style poll (and by “we” I mean “I,” and by “at the WmWms offices” I mean “sitting in my recliner,” and by “taken a…poll” I mean “made stuff up”) on all of the current SEC head football coaches.
| Most Likely to Bust Through the Wall Like the Kool-Aid Man: Ed Orgeron, Ole Miss | |
| Most Likely to Knock Off Practice Early So He Can Catch Days of Our Lives: Houston Nutt, Arkansas | |
| Most Likely to Be Cast as God in a Movie or Play: Sylvester Croom, Mississippi State | |
| Most Likely to Say “Fuck” Because He Thinks the Cool Kids are Saying It: Les Miles, LSU | |
| Most Likely to Hit on Your Wife: Nick Saban, Alabama | |
| Most Likely to Successfully Hit on Your Wife: Urban Meyer, Florida | |
| Most Likely to Have a Year-End Bonus Clause for “Not Sucking Quite as Badly as You Might Have” in His Contract: Bobby Johnson, Vanderbilt | |
| Most Likely to Glow Like Roma Downey in Touched By An Angel: Mark Richt, Georgia | |
| Most Likely to Whine and Underwhelm in Rapid Succession: Tommy Tuberville, Auburn | |
| Most Likely to Have Used the Phrases “These Damned Kids” and “My Lawn” Together in the Past Month: Rich Brooks, Kentucky | |
| Most Likely to Savor His Own Flatulence: Phil Fulmer, Tennessee | |
| Most Likely to Allow Baldness to Progress Rather Than Get a Hairpiece Because of the Unacceptably High Probability It Would Be Removed Inadvertently and Violently: Steve Spurrier, South Carolina |
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