BOSTON (BS) – For a second consecutive day, Boston was thrown into citywide panic as unknown, but quite sinister-looking, devices were discovered in and around Boston landmarks and thoroughfares.
“This is a sophisticated device, with buttons, lights, and what appears to be a battery compartment,” Boston police spokesperson Blanche Dout said. “And what makes this even more terrifying is that this device is fully mobile,” she continued, adding that it moved toward her “in a menacing way” when she initially approached it. Dout then collapsed and wept.
According to other on-the-scene sources who spoke on condition of anonymity, the device
appears to be a wheeled automaton, capable of executing programmed commands without human intervention. Officials have located 23 of the devices so far, and the search is expected to continue into the night.
Although no threat has yet been discerned, Boston authorities urge extreme caution and ask that anyone who finds one of these devices remain calm and contact them.
At a joint press conference, the mayor and governor announced plans to “sue the living shit out of everyone even remotely connected to this if it turns out to be another hoax.”
All suspended road, rail, and air travel is expected to resume by daybreak.
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