I started getting ads for Blue Diamond XTREMES almonds this week, so expeditiously procured one of each variety (Cayenne Pepper, Ghost Pepper, and Carolina Reaper) to review them for BoWilliams.com. I’m a big fan of Blue Diamond’s Bold almonds, having enjoyed them for several years, so these seemed promising products. Alas, my home Publix did not carry them, so I went to Kroger to get them. Each 6-oz. can was $3.99.
I tried these in ascending heat order. For each of the first two, I waited for heat to diminish completely before trying the next variety up to avoid any inadvertent cumulative effect. I didn’t have a drink until about ten minutes after I was finished with all of them.
Here are my variety-specific thoughts:
- There is a bit of pepper vibe in the Cayenne Pepper variety, and then the flavor goes into a cocktail that reminds me vaguely of sesame sticks. There is not a lot of heat at all, but what there is lingers a bit.
- The Ghost Pepper variety has a bit more chile on the initial taste, and a noticeable sweetness. It’s definitely hotter than the cayenne, but still eminently manageable. This was my favorite of the three.
- I got a sour, almost mustardy shot from the Carolina Reaper variety up front. A gander at the ingredients panel shows vinegar prominent in the mix, so there’s that. It doesn’t mix well with what chile flavor is there. This was hotter than the ghost, but I never even got close to needing a drink. It might be just a little exciting for someone who doesn’t like spicy foods.
There isn’t a lot of smell to any of them, even sticking your schnoz in the can and taking a big snort. I’m also surprised at how directionless these flavors are. There is no vision apparent here. It doesn’t seem like anyone thought or said anything like “hey, let’s send Cayenne Pepper in an unambiguous Cajun direction” or “ghost pepper is our obvious sweet heat, so maybe some BBQ vibe?” They’re all three just strange mishmashes of dissonant savory notes.
Blue Diamond XTREMES almonds are not very hot. This is disappointing, but hardly unexpected. Genuinely hot snack foods are out there, but they’re boutique products. Time and again, I’ve found that no mass market snack food producer will offer anything even close to making me reach for a drink. People gagging and crying on your product with the container (and logo) prominently displayed in YouTube videos means an unnecessary risk of hard-won brand equity.
So that’s unfortunate, but it’s par. The real problem with these products is that they just don’t taste good. It’s as if they were designed by committees who worked with dictionary definitions of ingredients to determine what went in them, but never actually put them in their mouths. Consequently, the flavors are muddled and scattershot. It’s perplexing that a company that did such a fine job with its Bold varieties would so unambiguously faceplant when tasked with designing three more that should have been in the same wheelhouse, only hotter.
Blue Diamonds XTREMES are a definite whiff. I won’t finish these. Or maybe I will, but I’ll put them in a colander and rinse them off first. I definitely won’t purchase them again. I’ll stay with Blue Diamond’s Bold line—mostly my Habanero BBQ, with an occasional Wasabi & Soy Sauce. (Folks, please leave those as they are.)
2/10
Coda: Almonds Rescued
You know what? I did put them in a colander and rinse them off. Then, I laid them out on a towel and patted them with another towel. Finally, I put them in a shallow pan and put them in the oven for about 10 minutes at 200º. When they cooled, I bagged them up.
There’s still a hint of salty hot to them, but that’s all. Now they taste good by themselves, or mixed into my Habanero BBQ.
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