There’s a person from my childhood I Google periodically, just to see if he’s dead yet. I do that just so I can say “good” when I do it one day and he is.
I did today. He’s not. He’s got to be close, though. Maybe I’ll write a bit more about him after he’s roasting in hell.
This doesn’t consume very much of my emotional bandwidth at all, but it’s there. I think it might be the only bit of old anger I keep stoked, actually.
I’m not proud of it. I’m sure it doesn’t please God. He tells us repeatedly (in so many words) that when it comes to folks getting theirs, He’s got the ball, and we are not to concern ourselves with it.
I’m hardly old yet, but I’ve done enough living to appreciate that perspectives change, and significantly. Our “truth” of ten years ago can get hazy, can’t it? Things we “know” blur, don’t they?
In that vein, I do hope one day I can be genuinely remorseful about the little pocket of rage I keep fueled for this person.
But that day’s not today.
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The best thing to do for a resentment towards someone is to pray for them. Trust me, it works.
Just remember the saying about how living well is the best revenge. Knowing you, I would have to believe that this person is a miserable human being for you to harbor these feelings. And since you have a happy marriage, a beautiful, healthy family, and a content, fulfilling life, you’ve already won. With that said, sometimes a little rage is motivating. Carry on.
I got a shovel, a tarp, a machete, and access to a fairly deep pond. Just saying, bro.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to have a little pocket of rage. Nor a bad thing to harbor these sorts of feelings toward another person. Some folks honestly deserve it.
Bo, next time we get together I’ll share a story with you that will obviously ring true after reading this post.
Hating someone is like drinking poison and expecting the person you hate to die. Think about it. You are just hurting yourself.
You’re absolutely right. I understand that completely. I’m not proud of it, and I don’t advocate it.