Not as figured out as I thought

I went whitewater rafting 10 or 12 times in my younger years.  The first and only time I ever fell out was on the first trip I decided I was “experienced.”

I believe I received a similar emotional correction this year.  I guess everyone gets too close to someone sometime.  But I think I had some sort of fundamental filter failure in 2008, because it happened to me a bunch.  Multiple judicious applications of an “arm’s length” philosophy would have saved me substantial anger and disappointment.

Perhaps time will provide clarity as to how reasonable or illogical my expectations were.

For now I’m grateful, to both God and my inner circle, for the ability to see myself as the constant in these failures.  Increased self-awareness is a good thing, even if what I’m increasingly self-aware of is that I need to be more self-aware.

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