This is a Mrs. Chili original. Some of us gently ribbed her on a particularly feminine meme she had answered, so she wrote this one for the guys. Whew—it took a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would. There are some good questions here.
1. Boxers? Briefs? Boxer briefs? Thongs? Commando?
Briefs.
2. What’s your fussiest personal care routine?
Shaving/trimming, probably.
3. Do you have a favorite tool? Power or manual?
Several years ago I accidentally won a Bosch rotary hammer on eBay. I’ve gradually accessorized with bull points, standard bits, a clay spade, a ground rod driver, and probably a couple of things I’m forgetting. It’s probably my favorite single tool. I don’t often have a use for it, but when I do, it generally saves hours.
4. Can you change your own oil? Do you?
Yes. Yes.
5. What’s the “manliest” thing you do on a regular basis?
I don’t know. Drink beer? Watch an unnecessarily large television?
6. What’s something “manly” that you never learned how to do?
I usually have a lot of trouble with knots.
7. Do you ever cry? If so, what’s your trigger?
Sure. Sometimes I cry at movies. Sometimes the boys make me cry.
8. Do you have a chivalrous streak? How does it manifest itself?
Yes. I hold doors, (offer to) carry things, and the like. I won’t sit when a woman is standing.
9. Do you have a chauvinistic streak? How does it manifest itself?
No. Chauvinism is defined as a belief of inherent superiority, which I do not hold. A few comments:
Some say chivalry is chauvinistic. If you hold such a view, see the previous question.
I don’t pass anything like professionalism, intelligence, and the like through any sort of gender filter. People are people. That said, here are two potentially interesting things about me:
- Generally I hold men more responsible for marital infidelity than women.
- When I meet a woman for the first time in a professional environment, I shake her hand just as I would shake a man’s hand. However, suppose we then spend a few hours together working on something, or in a class, or whatever. When it’s time to leave, if we’ve developed non-trivial rapport, then I will shake her hand, but also bring my other hand over hers briefly. It’s automatic and without thought, and I would never do that to a man. I can understand how that might offend. (I don’t think it ever has.)
10. What’s your favorite movie?
2001: A Space Odyssey.
11. What’s the dumbest, testosterone-inspired thing you’ve ever done?
Probably pass on the shoulder at 100 mph at night on a crowded I-75 southbound headed into Atlanta. I don’t think it’s something I would have done without two buddies in the car to “impress.”
12. What quality do you think makes a good man good? Do you have that quality?
Integrity. I try hard.
13. Toilet seat up or down?
I’ve never had trouble remembering to put it down when I’m finished.
14. If your wife/partner/significant other is away, do you cook for yourself or eat out of cans and boxes (or rely on local drive-throughs and delivery)?
Once in a great while I’ll cook, but I usually eat something frozen.
15. What societal expectation of being a man do you most resent?
Oh, I don’t know. Seems like I’m expected to be superficially competitive from time to time, and that seems to be a man thing.
16. What’s the best part – societal-wise – about being a man?
Well, it’s more than a little convenient being able to urinate just about anywhere.
17. Will you stop to ask for directions?
If I’m lost, sure I’ll stop. But with the Internet, a GPS receiver, and the like, how often is anyone really lost anymore? I can’t remember the last time I was.
18. What’s the one thing you wish your wife/partner/significant other understood about how you think or behave?
19. What’s one thing about your wife/partner/significant other that you just cannot understand, no matter how hard you try?
I’ll take these together.
I don’t spend any time thinking in these terms about Lea, and I don’t think she does about me. The way it works, as best as I can understand so far, is: 1) make sure you’re synchronized on the big things like values and aspirations; 2) commit to the relationship deeply and sincerely; and 3) don’t sweat the small stuff.
I think any disconnections Lea and I have are firmly in the realm of small stuff. It doesn’t mean they never irritate us, but it does mean we assign them no lasting significance. Consequently, I’ll end my answer here.
20. What do you need to have in the shower?
Soap and shampoo. Used to use conditioner, but my hair’s been really short for quite some time now and it’s not been necessary.
21. Do you burp/fart/scratch in public? Do you do anything stereotypically male?
Well, I try not to. Of the three activities named, I’d be most likely to try to sneak a scratch. The second part of the question is very much like #5, is it not?
22. How big a part does porn play in your life? Your thoughts?
A minor one. No particular thoughts.
23. What scares you?
The prospect of failing as a father in some key way. The possibility that I’ve waited too long to attempt recovery of good health.
24. What’s your best feature (physical or otherwise)?
I have really sexy ulnas and tibias.
25. What would you do for love?
Anything that I could.
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This is great, Bo! Thanks!
I was thinking specifically, in terms of the differences between questions #5 and #21, about the “men are trolls” commercials that Mr. Chili resents the hell out of. You know the ones; the guys sneaking beer into the “wine and cheese” party,or watching football on the hospital room t.v. while his wife’s in labor, that sort of thing. For #5, I had in mind things like changing the oil or fixing the sink – things that we appreciate in men. For #21, I was thinking more in terms of “men are trolls” sorts of things – giving her a dishwasher for her birthday or buying monster truck rally tickets for you and your buddy on your anniversary….
I LOVE that you stand when a woman’s standing. I kind of wish men would do that for me – it seems so respectful…
Oh, and on the hand-shaking, thing? I do that all the time – to men AND women. I think touch is very, very important, and I don’t think we do enough of it. I try to sneak it in in social acceptable ways whenever I can…
From #15: “Seems like I’m expected to be superficially competitive from time to time, and that seems to be a man thing”
Um. So, if I showed up with some form Trivial Pursuit, you wouldn’t be tempted to try to trounce your opponent? What if I said I had the book lover’s edition?
On second thought, I would not bring that one. It is the most freakishly difficult version I have ever seen. I think the last time we played, we declared 2 wedges a win!
And if being superficially competitive is a man thing, then my sister has a hell of a lot of ‘splaining to do. She told my 9 year old daughter she was going DOWN in a game of Sorry.