Ode to a semi-synthetic opioid

I stayed home again today.

Lost my voice yesterday. Even with that, up until last night I’d thought this a pretty standard cold, if with a little more throat pain. Then it colonized an ear, and there was a pronounced explosion of pain every time I swallowed (that became fabulously visceral when I coughed). Over-the-counter pain medicine wouldn’t touch it. I didn’t sleep for 30 minutes in a row last night.

So I surrendered this morning. Off to the doc-in-the-box. This is an unpleasant junket, what with the wait time that accompanies a walk-in arrangement, but it’s still marginally easier than trying to get in to see the nurse practitioner at my regular doctor on the other side of town.

Dr. Right Now took one look at the bacterial bacchanalia in my throat and wrote me three scripts: one for one of those bullshit prescription drugs that contains all OTC ingredients, another for an antibiotic, and a third for just a few tabs of a preparation containing hydrocodone.

Ah, hydrocodone: that glorious vanquisher of tussis and algesia. The curtain of its relief falls suddenly and completely. It’s time for another one now, actually.

I’m certainly looking forward to sleeping tonight.

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