May 252019

Once in a while I’ll run into someone who’s heard of peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches. But mostly, people recoil as if you’d suggested deep-fried dog crap. I don’t think I even knew it was considered weird until young adulthood. My mom made them for herself, and I liked them from about 10 years old on.

You make it like peanut butter and jelly, except use mayonnaise. A few points:

  • You must use real mayonnaise, not Miracle Whip or other “dressings” that are sort of mayo-like.
  • Any bread that will work for a PBJ is also fine for a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich, but the nutritionally bankrupt, alarmingly uniform white bread is best. This is Sunbeam King Thin in the photo.
  • Any peanut butter will work. I like creamy and full-sugar the best for peanut butter and mayonnaise.
  • Just as peanut butter and banana is a good sandwich, so is peanut butter, banana, and mayonnaise. I suspect bacon would be good too, though I’ve never tried it. (I do enjoy peanut butter, banana, and crumbled bacon on a pancake.)


 Posted by at 1:02 pm
May 232019
 Posted by at 10:28 am
May 212019

Late in the sixth season of Seinfeld, one of the greatest television shows of all-time, Kramer receives, by mistake, a vanity license plate that reads ASSMAN. He goes to the DMV to straighten things out, but the clerk, consulting her computer, says  there’s no mistake. (“You are the Assman!”)

The plate actually belongs to proctologist Dr. Cooperman, whom they encounter later in the episode in that tie-it-all-together Seinfeld way. Along the way, Kramer dates large-bottomed women and parks in the doctors-only lot at the hospital. (“Cosmo Kramer. Proctology.”)

So, what a great front plate for my pickup!

A couple of people have gotten the joke. That’s cool. I was an instant hero with my younger son, who suddenly wanted me to take him to school on my way to work. And I chuckled every time I got in.

Alas, as of this morning, the ASSMAN plate has come off. Why would I do such a thing? Am I yella?

Well, yeah. A little. A gate guard gave me a funny look last week. He didn’t say anything to me, but that feels like a time bomb. Also, I haven’t done a slow, opposite-direction approach with a police officer on a side street yet—you know, the sort of encounter that would give him/her plenty of time to read the plate? Portal Lane, anyone? I doubt the plate is illegal, but that doesn’t immunize me from having to prove it inconveniently.

Finally, though there are surely many people running around who get the joke, it’s probably safe to say there are more who don’t. And to those folks, I’m just some schmuck driving around with a not-nice word on the front of his vehicle. Church? Passing kids playing in the neighborhood? You getting me?

The ASSMAN plate will live on and give me chuckles. Still considering whether it goes in the garage or in the study.

 Posted by at 8:30 am
May 202019

Consider that contentious questions tend be so because they are complex.

Claims that abortion is a simple issue may be born of disingenuity or of ignorance, but they are never accurate. There are good, reasonable people holding thoughtful, considered views all over the spectrum.

If you don’t believe that and you allow your discourse to reflect that lack of belief, then you are a large problem, no matter what your position on abortion.

 Posted by at 10:55 am
May 162019
  • They are already just a whisper under 229 mph at practice for the Indianapolis 500. Ed Carpenter’s pole speed last year was 229.618. You can catch the Fast Nine Shootout and the Last Row Shootout on NBC on Sunday at 11, with Saturday’s qualifying on NBC Sports Gold and NBCSN. Hope the weather holds.
  • I managed to pick another canceled-after-one-season show to watch. I’m going to have to start asking that question before I start. Game of Silence started strong, but I get the impression there is too little story for its ten episodes. Seems like there’s an awful lot of hand-wringing and exposition that actually isn’t. I’m at the end of the sixth episode now, and likely done.
  • I tried to go back to my Windows phone a few days ago, and it didn’t work out. It was fairly lowball hardware when I got it, and the interceding four years have done it no favors. It’s just too slow and erratic. The failure of Windows Phone/Windows 10 Mobile is easily my biggest tech heartbreak. I thought nothing would ever eclipse the death of Palm OS.
  • I’ve worked up to getting all of my steps even on my fasting day. I’ve really appreciated how mindless this is. It’s so much easier for me to follow than anything else I’ve tried—and it’s working.
  • Our Duluth Trading is slated to open June 6—three weeks from today.
  • I had Drake’s sushi for the first time yesterday. It was fine, but it was no less expensive than I ? Sushi or Rock n Roll Sushi, and it wasn’t as good as those. I’ll stick to burgers at Drake’s.
  • Wendy runs on prayers. Yes, she does. A longtime friend muses and inspires here. You should follow her.
 Posted by at 1:40 pm
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