Jun 222016
 

Gumby and Pokey have been on every desk I’ve had since I first starting getting paid as a writer, in early 1994.

I suppose I hope they convey that I don’t take myself too seriously. I guess they occasionally fall into my view when I need a little levity. I’ve offered them up for little children to play on Take Your Child to Work Day. But mostly, they just sit there.

gumbypokey

Well, they have except for the last few months I was at Intergraph.

Over the course of perhaps my last six months, I would occasionally arrive at work in the morning to find Gumby and Pokey…posed. They bent lots of different ways, and my anonymous jokester found them all.

The first time, the pose was fairly tame. They progressed (regressed?) rapidly into every single sexual position I ever imagined, and a few I hadn’t. (After all, I’m not in the habit of considering a quadruped in such musings.) Some mornings, they were so good I had to stop and have a good laugh before I even logged in. Alas, these were the days before everyone had a camera with them all the time.

I never did find out who did it. But, sir/ma’am, if you’re reading, I certainly did enjoy your work. Thanks for thinking of me.

 Posted by at 7:15 am
May 312016
 

Oh, I loved you so, Windows Phone. I was certain we’d be happy together forever.

To be fair, there were minor issues from the start, but we either minimized or worked through them together, as young couples should. However, when we began to have serious problems, I consistently felt more committed to the relationship than you did. You know, sometimes I’m going to pull more than my half, and sometimes you’re going to pull more than your half. But if I’m pulling 65-70% all the time, that’s not sustainable.

It’s over. I’m sorry.

Ex-wife on left; current girlfriend on right

Ex-wife on left; current girlfriend on right

The final straw was Christy getting me excited about trying to give Instagram another go, only to discover that there isn’t a single decent Instagram client on Windows Phone. If all of the features worked in any one of them, I could have made do. Alas, no. The best one I tried wouldn’t reliably repost to Twitter.

Couple that with the fact that my phone hasn’t been able to properly handle my local 60GB music library in over a year, and I’m done.

The Instagram client on my Fire phone works fine, and I’m excited about having Amazon Prime music back again. I don’t see the Fire and me together long-term, but I’ll pal around with her for right now.

No problem with that, as long as I’m being honest with her.

 Posted by at 12:07 pm
Feb 062016
 

(Note: As of June 2016, the Chisel Shave Club appears to have folded.) I heard from the Chisel Shave Club folks about a month ago. Lauren, a member of their press team, had seen my Harry’s reviews and asked if I’d be interested in trying traditional wet shaving with their products. I replied and let […]

 Posted by at 10:12 am
Jan 152016
 

I was fascinated by this recent story of a fellow who runs a Silicon Valley startup, yet doesn’t own or carry a smartphone (or, indeed, any mobile phone). Certainly, there are parts of the narrative that sound appealing. He speaks of thinking more clearly, and rediscovering peace. But–but!–he does confess that he makes occasional use […]

 Posted by at 12:09 pm

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