Jun 222016
 

Gumby and Pokey have been on every desk I’ve had since I first starting getting paid as a writer, in early 1994.

I suppose I hope they convey that I don’t take myself too seriously. I guess they occasionally fall into my view when I need a little levity. I’ve offered them up for little children to play on Take Your Child to Work Day. But mostly, they just sit there.

gumbypokey

Well, they have except for the last few months I was at Intergraph.

Over the course of perhaps my last six months, I would occasionally arrive at work in the morning to find Gumby and Pokey…posed. They bent lots of different ways, and my anonymous jokester found them all.

The first time, the pose was fairly tame. They progressed (regressed?) rapidly into every single sexual position I ever imagined, and a few I hadn’t. (After all, I’m not in the habit of considering a quadruped in such musings.) Some mornings, they were so good I had to stop and have a good laugh before I even logged in. Alas, these were the days before everyone had a camera with them all the time.

I never did find out who did it. But, sir/ma’am, if you’re reading, I certainly did enjoy your work. Thanks for thinking of me.

 Posted by at 7:15 am
Jun 032016
 

This is casu marzu. It’s an Italian cheese—Sardinian, specifically.

marzuDo you know what makes casu marzu special? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s a strong cheese, but it’s not just fermented. It’s partially decomposed. How does that happen? So glad you asked. It’s deliberately introduced to the cheese fly, which lays eggs in it. When they hatch, the maggots start working on it themselves—eating, defecating.

Some people clear the maggots from the cheese before eating it, while others do not, considering them part of the experience.

This might be grosser than a balut.

Might.

Image by Shardan, used under this license. No changes were made.

 Posted by at 10:20 pm
May 312016
 

Oh, I loved you so, Windows Phone. I was certain we’d be happy together forever. To be fair, there were minor issues from the start, but we either minimized or worked through them together, as young couples should. However, when we began to have serious problems, I consistently felt more committed to the relationship than […]

 Posted by at 12:07 pm

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