My affection for throwing red meat has waned considerably. I think I want to try to get us engaging each other. Fool’s errand? Perhaps. But it entertains me. So no harm.
- It’s not important to me that he listen. I just want him to tell me what I should do.
- I appreciate his helpful input on how I might improve my driving skills.
- I really like that he’s secure enough in himself to wear jeans and a T-shirt, no matter what the occasion.
- When he tells me to relax, I immediately feel relaxed.
- I think of sex, what to make for dinner, and very little else.
- I enjoy fart jokes.
- I wish he would ask me which of my girlfriends I’d most like to make out with.
- I’m just not sure about him. If only he would send me a photograph of his penis…
I watch our dear sweet Governor Bentley’s Twitter account closely. There’s a baseline level of delusion about it, in that he continues to post little bits of his day—ribbon cuttings and what-not—as if he hasn’t thoroughly disgraced himself and Alabama. Just going about my business. Working so hard for you. Putting the guber in gubernatorial. […]
Well, I went to check on our esteemed governor’s Twitter feed this morning, and was greeted with the following: That’s right. Governor Robert Bentley—ostensible leader of my state, fondler of ‘Bekah, dodger of Wanda, and a man I voted for twice—blocked me on Twitter. I can’t be sure which tweet finally pushed our favorite lecherous […]
Dear Governor Bentley, I’m sad to say I’ve long since given up any significant moral expectations of people who run for national office. But I do hang onto a certain (admittedly silly) sentimentality about candidates for state office. Alabama, much maligned, both fairly and unfairly, is special to me. I love my state deeply. That […]