Jun 192017
 

As I type, my mother has been gone for 16 years; her mother, for 14.

But because of the haphazard ways they brought to some things, my sister still occasionally finds a box of photos we haven’t been through. This most recent one we’ve examined might be the best one yet.

If I’ve seen the photos before, usually I can remember going through them, even decades later. I pick up the narrative of the collection and start remembering other photos that I’m about to encounter that I haven’t yet; stuff like that.

But this box has a lot of photos I’ve never seen, including a truly amazing photo of my parents, as well as photos of my childhood home under construction.

I’ll begin sharing them with you in an upcoming post. Tonight I am finding them incredible because they’re supercharging the reordering of things in my mind that was already underway. I have some rooms I’m trying to expand. I have others I need to keep around, but move some things out of. And finally, I have some I need to brick over and forget about.

I guess that’s not really all that novel. But I’m badly overdue, so it feels so.

More soon.

 Posted by at 9:35 pm
Jun 132017
 

I review a book once in a while on BoWilliams.com, but I can’t recall ever posting a “pre-review” before I’m done with it, as I’m doing right now with Primal Loss: The Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak by Leila Miller.

My parents divorced in February 1982. I was not quite 11 years old. My younger sister had just turned 8. It was easily the most significant event of my childhood, and I have many memories of the way things were before vs. the way they were after. Furthermore, I have strong opinions on it—some longstanding, others more recently formed.

It’s rather difficult to write or talk about it without sounding self-pitying, and to a significant degree I sympathize with those who would say so. We play the cards we’re dealt.

But this book is also an important counter to a lot of “progressive” thought that says things like concern about children should be an input into the decision, though perhaps not a primary one. Or, my favorite: “kids are resilient.” Yes, kids bounce back because for the most part, human beings bounce back—but that doesn’t mean they’re the same.

The book is not fun to read (how could it be?). I am nevertheless enjoying it because I’m finding kindred spirits saying things I completely understand—and in a few cases, vocalizing thoughts I’ve always had but never expressed.

More to come in a full review soon.

 Posted by at 11:27 am
Jun 072017
 

The boys and I were recently discussing one of the terror acts committed against civilians in the name of Islam—in this case, a shooting attack. “Of course it’s always important to be vigilant and aware of your surroundings, but I’m not particularly worried about that kind of thing happening here.” “Why not, Dad?” “Because as […]

 Posted by at 12:18 pm

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