May 042016

Well, I went to check on our esteemed governor’s Twitter feed this morning, and was greeted with the following:


That’s right. Governor Robert Bentley—ostensible leader of my state, fondler of ‘Bekah, dodger of Wanda, and a man I voted for twice—blocked me on Twitter.

I can’t be sure which tweet finally pushed our favorite lecherous pepaw over the edge, but I’m guessing it was one of these:

  • I’d like to see us represent men of honor to future generations. As you are wholly unsuited for that, how about resigning?
  • Bobby, your top priority should be going home and being quiet for the rest of your life. Glad to help, sir! Godspeed!
  • Wow, man. Know what? I bet a whole lot of them managed that leadership without groping other men’s wives, too!
  • Indeed! Let us remember all the times we have cheated on our wives. I’m coming up with…nothing. How about you, Governor?

Do I feel badly about any of this? I do not. Do I think I am better than Governor Bentley? I do not.


It is not my place to sit in judgment of Bentley. He seems fairly certain to have committed some acts that I find truly despicable, but even so, I am a man, and we all fall short. (A rather important book tells us that.)

I do remember a time, however, when it was customary for a good man to own his mistakes, and in the interests of dignity and honor, try to atone for them. In the case of a man who held and abused high office to commit his sins, said atonement would include relinquishment of the office.

It is distasteful that there is a phone sex recording of Alabama governor Robert Bentley. It is disgusting that Robert Bentley is still the Alabama governor.

And, as I’ve said in other contexts: contrition that precisely coincides with exposure is probably not contrition.

So, run Bentley off? Yeah. I’d love to. I’d love to reinsert the concept of shame into his world view. That’s the point of my posts. I really don’t care a thing about nailing his sorry ass to the wall. I just want him to go home and be quiet for the rest of his life—somewhere besides the house that belongs to me.

So are you ready for the punchline?

The luv guvnah‘s Twitter block isn’t taking on my phone. Bug in the Windows Phone Twitter client? Don’t know. But I can still see his posts and reply just fine from there. As my friend Jason put it: my tweets are as unimpeachable as he is.

Let’s party, Bobby!

 Posted by at 9:16 pm
Apr 252016

upaWell, everyone’s favorite lecherous pepaw has hung around long enough to get hisself his very own beer, complete with a delightfully suggestive logo! Salty Nut Brewery will offer Unimpeachable Pale Ale for a limited time, with swag available now.

(You’ll perhaps recall dear Dr. Bentley’s fondness for touching soft, round things from his phone sex recording.)

Keep putting the guber in gubernatorial, Guvnah!


 Posted by at 6:26 pm
Apr 212016

Prince died this morning at his home near Minneapolis. He was 57 years old. As I type the cause of death has not been released, but he had been battling influenza for several weeks. Prince was one of the primary cultural architects of my beloved 1980s. He not only wrote and recorded key parts of […]

 Posted by at 2:12 pm
Apr 182016

Dear Governor Bentley, I’m sad to say I’ve long since given up any significant moral expectations of people who run for national office. But I do hang onto a certain (admittedly silly) sentimentality about candidates for state office. Alabama, much maligned, both fairly and unfairly, is special to me. I love my state deeply. That […]

 Posted by at 3:41 pm is using WP-Gravatar