Mar 032015

Kids are epically dumb sometimes.

Of course, that’s practically a tautology. And, as parents, meliorating said dumbness as best we can is a significant part of the gig.

Which brings me to this afternoon. My beloved firstborn texted me a not-nice something that is making the rounds on the Internet. It’s an abbreviation for a six-word expression, and you can’t say two of the words on network television.

So my guess is he meant to text this—just not to me. What do I do? Here’s how I replied, and how it went from there:


Ah. Got it. It’s the old just-trying-to-text-my-dad-some-gibberish-for-a-yuck-and-accidentally-typed-out-six-letters-in-order-that-exactly-correspond-to-an-obscene-expression defense.


We went on for another screen of back and forth, during which I gave him more opportunities to backtrack. But nope, he dug in.

Sigh again.

You know, I was 13 years old once. I remember thinking crude words and expressions were the height of hilarity, and sharing them with my friends, and laughing, and laughing again. It’s no big deal. It’s part of childhood. Nathan’s just got way more technology with which to do it than I ever had. So he wasn’t really in hot water for that. We would have a word about a time and a place for everything, and that would be it.

It was when he lied about what he did, and then doubled down when his father charitably offered him an escape, that he got in trouble. That it’s an endlessly stupid lie is irrelevant. He went with it. So he went down with it. Still mild, really—he can’t use anything with an IC in it for the evening—but that’s enough to sting him a little bit.

I wrote about him trying to lie more convincingly at Rocket City Mom once. His pre-lie intelligence gathering was poor on that earlier one. This time, he grossly underestimated the absurdity of his claim. He’s really pretty bad at this. I hope—I believe—he has enough of a moral foundation to stay that way.

(Of course, if he ever improves significantly, I guess I won’t know it, will I?)

 Posted by at 7:37 pm
Feb 242015

Last Friday at its peak. Tomorrow should be considerably more impressive.

Saintseester and I have long laughed at The Weather Channel’s ridiculous practice of naming winter storms, because a) the names aren’t necessary; and b) absolutely no one uses them. ‘Seester had the awesome idea of naming them after breakfast cereals. So, we’re expecting Winter Storm Cheerios tomorrow.

You see kids, hurricanes need names because they are renegades. No one’s quite sure what they’re going to do, and there might be more than one at a time. Winter storms are just the normal weather pattern. They’re lines of thunderstorms, but cold. Are we going to name thunderstorms next? (Maybe I shouldn’t say that too loudly…)

So, tonight is the first night this winter that we’ve really been able to enjoy the threat of inclement weather properly. School and work are already closed, so we can go to bed without setting an alarm, look forward to sit-down breakfast, and so forth. Aaron’s excited about breaking out the chessboard after the pancake dishes are in the dishwasher.

Sounds good to me, big man.

 Posted by at 7:37 pm
Feb 202015

When 72-year-old Gordon Van Gilder was riding in the passenger seat of a car stopped by Cumberland County, New Jersey sheriff’s deputies for a traffic violation, he hadn’t an inkling he’d be charged with a felony and be facing quite possibly the rest of his life in prison. Van Gilder had just purchased for his […]

 Posted by at 7:48 am
Feb 182015

Well, I’ve not had a full day at work and the boys have not had a full day at school yet this week, thanks to winter weather. I’m hoping to get one tomorrow. The boys are already delayed three hours (for temperature, which I’m quite confident never happened in my childhood). It’s supposed to be […]

 Posted by at 7:02 pm is using WP-Gravatar