May 222016
 
  • It’s not important to me that he listen. I just want him to tell me what I should do.
  • I appreciate his helpful input on how I might improve my driving skills.
  • I really like that he’s secure enough in himself to wear jeans and a T-shirt, no matter what the occasion.
  • When he tells me to relax, I immediately feel relaxed.
  • I think of sex, what to make for dinner, and very little else.
  • I enjoy fart jokes.
  • I wish he would ask me which of my girlfriends I’d most like to make out with.
  • I’m just not sure about him. If only he would send me a photograph of his penis…
 Posted by at 2:25 pm
May 202016
 

The boys had their end-of-year awards program at school today. Half of their teachers were little girls playing dress-up. No, not really, but that’s how it felt. I’m now old enough that a teacher just out of school, or even one with a few years’ experience, is young enough to be my daughter. When I […]

 Posted by at 6:58 pm
May 172016
 

I wrote once about these way-too-happy-all-the-time guys (it’s almost always men) who are eternally whistling, sauntering instead of walking, taking way too damned long to order lunch because they think the server genuinely wants to have a conversation, and so forth. Frequently there is overlap with Incremental Guy. These people still piss me off more […]

 Posted by at 8:00 am
May 092016
 

I watch our dear sweet Governor Bentley’s Twitter account closely. There’s a baseline level of delusion about it, in that he continues to post little bits of his day—ribbon cuttings and what-not—as if he hasn’t thoroughly disgraced himself and Alabama. Just going about my business. Working so hard for you. Putting the guber in gubernatorial. […]

 Posted by at 2:51 pm

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