Nov 212014

Sometimes we build them by ourselves. Other times others help us. Nothing quite like that crash from on high, is there? Here are a few excessively high expectations I’ve had.

  • After Zoë Bell talked up Vanishing Point in Death Proof, I was sure I’d love it. Instead I just found it tedious. Furthermore, I had no idea what I was supposed to take away from the car inexplicably changing from a Challenger into a Camaro at the very end. Turns out I wasn’t supposed to notice.
  • If you say Bonefish Grill to someone, there is a 99% chance that person’s reply will contain “Bang Bang Shrimp.” Wow at this appetizer’s word of mouth. By the time I finally had the opportunity to try them, I was half-expecting to have an orgasm as soon as I tasted one. Guess what? They’re good. But I wouldn’t go back just to have them again, particularly when you have to sit so close to everyone else in the restaurant. (I don’t know if that’s a Huntsville thing or not, but I don’t want to spend date-night money for dinner and then have another table barely a yard away in every direction.)
  • Having listened to literally nothing else in the car but Appetite for Destruction for six months, I was excited to get Guns N’ Roses’ follow-up LPs, Use Your Illusion I and Use Your Illusion II. Given that I thought (and think to this day) that Appetite was and is the best hard rock/heavy metal record ever, the Use Your Illusion albums were bound to be a step or two down. Indeed, the good stuff is. But a little more than half of the material is mediocre to awful. There is nearly 152 minutes of music on the two albums. There’s a really solid 60- to 70-minute album in there to be mined.
  • The Great Gatsby is as close to pointless as anything I’ve ever read. This must be the greatest (heh) case of the emperor’s new clothes in the history of American literature. Quoting myself at the above link: “It is crafted with skill. But bricks can as easily compose a whorehouse as a cathedral.”

What have you thought was going to be fantastic and then wasn’t?

 Posted by at 1:37 pm
Nov 202014
  • I saw snow in November. There wasn’t much, but it was definitely there. Wow. I don’t think that’s ever happened before. It’s hard to get good gas mileage in the cold.
  • Have you seen Guardians of the Galaxy? Want to text Groot? His number is 1-866-740-4531. He’d love to hear from you. Let him know what’s on your mind.
  • The CD player in the Technical Writing Express is acting up again. Did this once before, but fixed itself and stayed fixed for over a year. May have to replace it this time. I’ll just dip into my copious cash reserves. Ha!
  • The Facebook page has ten more days before it goes dark. I’ll be off Facebook altogether then.
  • If you followed me on Twitter, you’d get many wonderful things. Among them are my thoughts on automotive styling. Here is one example. Here is another. Also, you’d get many sexy food photos. Here is one example. Here is another.
  • Came home with a pound of turkey sausage from Bates this time. I cooked it Tuesday night for quesadillas. It’s fine, but not so good that we need to repeat the purchase.
  • I’m just torn up about Bill Cosby. I don’t know what to think. He’s never been convicted of a sex crime, but there certainly does seem to be a lot of smoke for there to be no fire. He’s been such a vigorous and thoughtful advocate for children and education—most all of his career—and he’s so funny. I fear my heart will end up broken to some degree.
 Posted by at 6:41 am
Nov 192014

Katherine Timpf shares at National Review that online dating service OKCupid lists 12 different sexual orientations, from which users can select as many as five.


There are also 22 options for gender.

I get that sexuality is a continuum. I get that people can feel conflicted and trapped. I get that people are occasionally born with ambiguous external genitalia. I understand there can be gray between male and female or between straight and gay.

But this just might be getting silly, dudes and dolls.

 Posted by at 10:20 am
Nov 172014

So I was watching the Saints game yesterday when Jermaine Gresham caught a pass for a Bengals TD. Cincinnati fan Christa Barrett got Gresham’s attention, at which point they shared a short moment and he tossed the ball to her.

The person sitting next to her, Tony Williams, jumped in front of her and took the souvenir away from her.

I couldn’t believe it. I thought “sheesh, that’s a grown man who ought to know better.”

I know, I know, it’s just a football, blah blah blah. That it is just a football is exactly why it shouldn’t have been a big deal for this bully to let that young lady have it. Sir, maybe you even got caught up in the heat of the moment. You can’t give it to her 15 minutes later on further consideration—knowing it was intended for her and you basically stole it?

Apparently Williams wanted it for his grandson. That’s his explanation. Hey man, how about modeling basic decency for him instead?

The Saints kept it classy and brought Barrett a ball after the incident, and I understand she is to receive a football autographed by the entire Bengals team. That’s doing quite well for consolation, yes?

Tony Williams, that was a completely obnoxious thing you did, and your lack of remorse afterward is another completely obnoxious thing you did. I’m glad you’re getting called out, and I’m delighted to pile on. Shame on you. Find some manners. You’re embarrassing your mother.

And the Saints.

 Posted by at 6:53 pm
Nov 162014

Aaron: “Dad, did you pass your driver’s license exam on your first try?”

Bo: “Yes, I did pass the first time I took it.”

Aaron: “Did you keep up with your examiner? Like, are you friends today?”

Bo: “Ummm…no.”

Aaron: “OK. It was just a thought I had.”

Isn’t it great what kids think sometimes?

I don’t remember my examiner’s sex, race, age, or anything else. I do remember that s/he didn’t ask me to parallel park, which kind of irritated me because I’d spent significant time and effort making sure I could do so on demand.

I took my exam in a silver 1984 Oldsmobile Delta 88. It was part of the small corporate fleet my dad was managing for his sales force at the time. It was mostly Oldsmobile 88s and 98s, with an occasional outlier like Gary’s Buick Electra coupe. (I got to drive that one to Panama City once to see my mom and sister when they lived down there. Moonroof. Killer stereo. Good times.)

celicaMy first daily driver was my dad’s 1979 Ford E-150 van. I kept gas in it and paid him a flat rate per mile to do everything else (maintenance, insurance, and so forth). Most of the time I’d fill it up with gas and buy a carton of cigarettes, and that’d be pretty much it until I got paid again. I had noticeably more discretionary income once I got my ’77 Celica, which got exactly twice the fuel mileage. That’s what I count as my real first car.

myversa2I guess Nathan’s first car might be the Technical Writing Express, which is my current daily driver. There’s never been a thing wrong with it apart from a flaky CD player, and it’s only got 85,000 miles on it right now. If I continue to accumulate mileage at the same rate and nothing bad happens to it, then Nate will turn 16 and slide into a nine-year-old Nissan compact with 125,000 miles on it. That sounds about right, doesn’t it?

 Posted by at 4:52 pm is using WP-Gravatar