Aug 012015

Behold the relay I replaced to restore proper operation of my wife’s van’s windshield wipers:


Thanks to for helping me assemble the answer. God bless the Internet.

Here it is, more elegantly than I could ever find it in one place there: if you have a second-generation Honda Odyssey and it suddenly loses intermittent and low speed on the windshield wipers, but high speed still works, you probably need Honda part number 39794-S10-003. It’s the bottom bit in the smaller of two electrical boxes located just to the left of the battery (covers removed):


Take the cover off, pull the old relay straight up, and push the new one straight down. Total cost: $23. Elapsed time: 30 seconds.

I had to remove these boxes to replace the starter a few months ago, so I may have jostled and inadvertently hastened the relay’s demise then.

This part is inexpensive enough, and the symptom specific enough, that you ought to give this a whirl before you go jacking around with the motor or the switch. (And you know it’s not a fuse. If it was, then high speed wouldn’t work either, right?)

 Posted by at 8:52 pm
Jul 312015

Today, my visitors, for whom I hold significant adoration, I shall bang out a post from start to finish whilst totally avoiding our most common linguistic symbol.

(Not really, but I did manage an entire, meaningful sentence. Wow, writing without the letter E is pretty hard.)

Not sure what I’ve got for you today, dudes and dolls. My friend Cameron and I were texting so I asked her what to write about, and she laid a lot of good ideas on me, but all pretty heavy. I’ll suss out some things for next week from her input.

So, I’m all the way to the fourth paragraph without saying really anything at all! Are you impressed? I should write political speeches. I actually had a killer idea at lunch yesterday for a post I think would be screamingly funny, but I wouldn’t want my real name on it. Might need to give that some thought. I mean, it’s irreverent and potentially offensive, not just immature. If it were only about boogers and Pop Rocks or something, I’d put it here. Some days it’s a low bar, as longtime readers shall readily attest.

With that I’ll say I’ve stolen enough of your day, dear hearts. Have a marvelous weekend, and as always, thank you for reading

 Posted by at 9:45 am
Jul 302015
  • I’ll be substantially participating in Huntsville Restaurant Week, and I’m looking forward to it. Stay tuned for details!
  • Our boys’ last week of freedom wanes. Lea’s enjoyed the time spent with them and is lamenting its imminent end. That’s got to be a big win when they’re 13 and 11, doesn’t it?
  • Fire Phone a week in: still a win. I like this hardware. If it’ll meet a need of yours, pull the trigger. Oh, and I never drop my phone, but I dropped this one seven feet directly onto a rock last weekend at the lake. It’s operationally unscathed, and I’d have to point the cosmetic damage out to you very carefully. (And we’d need full sunlight, or close to it.)
  • The new Saxon album is called Battering Ram, and it’ll be out this fall. If the last five albums are any indication, and I suspect they are, it’ll be great.
  • If you’re desperate to get me a present, I’d point you toward the Orient Mako USA. I like the blue dial model best, thought I’d take any color. A diver with a respected movement and sapphire crystal at that price is a slam-dunk. Thanks in advance.
  • I’m considering catching the new Terminator movie over a long lunch. Neither of the boys has any positive expectation about it whatsoever. Ergo, no need to make an event of it.
  • Alabama plays five weeks from the day after tomorrow.
 Posted by at 6:15 am
Jul 282015

I was less intellectually and spiritually sure of myself in college than at any other time in my life. That’s just how it should be. Higher education is about many things, but it must be about questioning everything we think we know.

It should be more difficult to be fat and happy with your beliefs at a university than at just about any other place in the world.

And that is why the proliferation of “safe zones,” the prattling about “microaggression,” and the massive growth of speech codes is one gigantic travesty.

Look, we’re all adults here. Let’s seriously consider the notion that if it takes longer than ten seconds to explain why using this term or that is offensive, then there’s a really good chance the offense is manufactured. Political correctness is obnoxious everywhere, but it’s hugely toxic on college campuses.

For example, I learned today—hat tip, Katherine Timpf—that the word “American” is offensive. Do go spend some time with the University of New Hampshire’s Bias-Free Language Guide.

You see, “American” excludes South America, as well as Canada and Mexico. (Never mind that there is not another country whose official name ends with “America” besides the United States of America. “United Statesian” just rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it?)

“Senior citizen” is offensive, too. Use “old person.” (Really?)

“Obese”? “Overweight”? No. “People of size.” (Presumably “lard ass” is verboten as well.)

I’m sick of this crap. You know if someone’s offending or not without reading some stupid “language guide.” Grow up.

 Posted by at 8:49 pm
Jul 272015

evenfloMeet the Evenflo Embrace DLX Infant Car Seat with SensorSafe. It’s a car seat that sounds an alarm when the ignition is switched off.

Because apparently a child is roasted to death in a hot car once a week or so.

I suppose I’m glad to see this product, because I’m sure it will save lives. I also remain appalled that the product is necessary, and I reject utterly the increasingly common refrain that “it could happen to anyone.” It could happen to anyone like leaving your infant alone in a bath could happen to anyone. Or, maybe allowing a high fever to climb out of control.

If you need this seat, you need a radical reexamination of how you’re living your life day to day. You’re doing it wrong.The act of leaving your child in the car should not be normalized at any level. It should not become just another one of those pesky little things we all have to deal with, sigh, you know how it is, whew, what say we get a bite?

I would support making it a felony to leave the very youngest children in the car alone for more than, say, 60 seconds. I’d support lifelong incarceration as a possible sentence for killing a child this way.

It’s not a package of steaks. It’s a person you chose to make exist, and one who is completely dependent on you. If there is an ongoing and legitimate threat of you forgetting this person in the car, then you may need more help than this seat can provide.

 Posted by at 10:38 am is using WP-Gravatar