May 222016
  • It’s not important to me that he listen. I just want him to tell me what I should do.
  • I appreciate his helpful input on how I might improve my driving skills.
  • I really like that he’s secure enough in himself to wear jeans and a T-shirt, no matter what the occasion.
  • When he tells me to relax, I immediately feel relaxed.
  • I think of sex, what to make for dinner, and very little else.
  • I enjoy fart jokes.
  • I wish he would ask me which of my girlfriends I’d most like to make out with.
  • I’m just not sure about him. If only he would send me a photograph of his penis…
 Posted by at 2:25 pm
May 202016

The boys had their end-of-year awards program at school today. Half of their teachers were little girls playing dress-up.

No, not really, but that’s how it felt. I’m now old enough that a teacher just out of school, or even one with a few years’ experience, is young enough to be my daughter.

When I think back to my school days, yeah, I had some young teachers, but I don’t think this many. I don’t know whether I’m getting a skewed view at the boys’ school, or if the profession really has a much younger average age now. Whatever the case, wow.

Between this and my budding disgust with Coach Saban at his apparent intention to keep Cam Robinson on the team under any circumstance except sustained incarceration…sheesh. (Does that feel old-fashioned or is it me?) If my doctor tells me next time I see her that I can’t have spicy food anymore, I’m just going to get a hat with ear flaps and start eating at Piccadilly every day and be done with it.

Have a good weekend. You whippersnappers.

 Posted by at 6:58 pm
May 192016
  • Morley Safer has died at 84. RIP.
  • Headed to New Market for soccer on Saturday, which is kind of a haul. But, New Market BBQ awaits at the end of the game!
  • Good sleep has never eluded me to such a significant degree for so long. Last night was still not great but a few clicks better, I think because I actually got some exercise in the evening. Take notes, Bo.
  • The new most obnoxious thing in the first world is audio and video at the pay-at-the-pump. So obnoxious. Do that to me once and I won’t be back. I’ll choose somewhere else for as long as I can.
  • I have 13 wings reviews published now in my #HsvHotWings series. I’m doing seven more. Stay tuned.
  • Disappointed in Cam Robinson and Hootie Jones, and doubly disappointed that Coach Saban hasn’t already dismissed them.
  • The older boy has brought the eighth-grade plane in safely, but it was a somewhat bumpy landing. We have much more structure in school day afternoons coming this fall.
 Posted by at 12:37 pm
May 172016

For a few months in 2016, every week or two I’m going to have the hottest wings available at a different area restaurant and give you my thoughts.

cafe4201My friend Gail has been after me for a few weeks to try the wings at Café 420, one of her favorite haunts, at Oakwood and Pulaski. We went today for lunch. Café 420 is a bar, so you must be 21 to enter, and smoking is permitted throughout the facility.

Gail and I sat at the bar and chatted with server/bartender Wendy about their wing and sauce offerings. They have mild, hot, and XXX hot heat levels, with Extreme Reserve at the top. (Café 420 also sells bottles of these sauces.) I ordered six Extreme Reserve wings, which were $4.63 before tip. They came with celery and dressing, and adding fries and a soft drink took it to only $8. Our service was prompt and conversational; bar chit-chat.


Quality: 7/10. I had four flats and three drums in my basket (and please note that makes seven, not six). That took these down to just over 66¢ per wing, which is a great value. The Café 420 wings are heavily breaded, then tossed in sauce, which makes them hang onto a little more oil than they might otherwise.

Flavor: 6/10. The standard fried chicken vibe from the batter was a little disarming on the front end, but ultimately pleasant. There is a bit of sweet-salty in the sauce, and chili peppers are prominent. There is just a little bit of bitterness, presumably from extract.

Heat: 8/10. No foreplay here. Let’s dance, baby. I had the hiccups before I was finished with the first wing. They smack you around a bit from the very start, and then drag you on in and work you over. I left with a good sweat, a couple of tears, a nice endorphin dump, and clear sinuses.

Café 420’s Extreme Reserve wings are the new unambiguous hottest I’ve had on my #HsvHotWings adventure.

 Posted by at 9:28 pm
May 172016

I wrote once about these way-too-happy-all-the-time guys (it’s almost always men) who are eternally whistling, sauntering instead of walking, taking way too damned long to order lunch because they think the server genuinely wants to have a conversation, and so forth. Frequently there is overlap with Incremental Guy.

These people still piss me off more than anything else, and I’m not suggesting I’ve adopted anything like that kind of vibe when I say I’m feeling better about things day to day.

Not that I’m feeling upbeat and optimistic. Oh, no. Hervé Villechaize couldn’t have limboed under the bar we had set for presidential candidates, and we still managed to lower it—a bunch. Do you want to:

  • Drown in 60 feet of water, or 80 feet of water?
  • Jump out of the 70th floor, or the 50th floor?
  • Hit the 18-wheeler head-on at 100 mph, or 90 mph?

We’re not getting a president even remotely suitable for the office this year.

I can’t recall being this despondent this far out, so I think I’m getting centered sooner than usual. And my grand comfort is two simple statements, one enveloped by the other.

The envelopee is that my responsibilities to live prudently, to support my family, and so forth do not change, no matter who sits anywhere in Washington. My ability to influence my immediate world remains pretty steady, and I’ve still got to pick the ball up and run with it every day.

The enveloper is that the Bible tells us several times to trust God. And it tells us even more times not to be afraid. It’s hard to remember in strange and unpredictable times that God has a plan, but—duh—these are the times we’re supposed to remember it most.

I’ll add an important corollary directive: please be patient with each other. Both your conservative friends and your liberal friends are a bit resentful right now. This should have gone better for each of them. It was a ridiculously deep and talented Republican field. So what did we do? We inadvertently turned the whole thing over to a carnival barker, because by the time we realized he was a genuine threat it was too late. And, supporters of Hillary are living with a real threat of a federal indictment, and if the hammer comes down today, what’s plan B?

We need to remember that though we may think some people have bad ideas, for the most part they’re not bad people. They are reasonable people who have simply reached different conclusions from the ones we’ve reached. Ever notice that the worlds we say we want tend to look pretty similar? We just disagree on the best way to get there.

I’ll be expanding on this idea in the coming weeks. Please stay tuned.

 Posted by at 8:00 am is using WP-Gravatar