Jun 212015

Still mulling how to blog about this. It’s inhabiting me. Only writing about it effectively shall evict it, I fear.

Watch this. If you have Netflix, and you have a fairly high threshold of offense, watch the entire documentary.

You won’t be the same person afterward. You’ve been warned.

Hot Girls Wanted official trailer (2015… by darlinmagazine

 Posted by at 9:11 pm
Jun 202015

Do you have that vaguely promiscuous ex in your background? You have a great time together, lots of laughs, and so forth, but she’s just not so, uh, rigorous, shall we say, about the roles of other men in her life? The lines are blurry? We trackin’ here?

Maybe you finally get tired of it and break it off. Then you’re bored one weekend and call her, y’all start back up, and guess what? She cheats on you again.

“Hey, you stung me!” “Yup. I’m a scorpion.”

I was reminded of a bullet from this Thursday miscellanea, as well as the fable linked above, when I read that Walmart is returning greeters to the front door. (I didn’t realize they’d ever moved them away.)

Because I went back to Walmart a few months ago after many years of seething hatred for the place.

And I had a few visits without incident, and even began to enjoy myself a bit. Hey, these groceries are better than they were last time I was around. This store is cleaner than my memory.

Then, that early Thursday morning, there were no baskets at the front door and I had to wait five real minutes for a cashier.

I got cheated on.


Because Walmart is a scorpion.

I even wrote a post once about how funny it was that Walmart couldn’t figure out why it was losing business. Then, as now, the description of success is simple. I want to come into a clean store, that is open when I want to use it. I want to locate my item(s) easily. I want to pay for them quickly. And then I want to leave.

You know, I started to say I’d also like for the store’s employees to be consistently intelligent and engaging. But that’s not really separable from what I described in the previous paragraph. A store delivering the above is staffed with intelligent and engaging employees.

My friend Paul said hey, it’s not Nordstrom. I said no it’s not, but Publix and Target aren’t Nordstrom either, and they manage to deliver a pleasant shopping experience every single time. I mean, I literally cannot remember the last time I had any trouble either place.

It’s not hard to describe what I want, Walmart. It is, however, apparently too hard for you to deliver it.

And I’m sure I’ll remember that for another good while.

 Posted by at 6:08 pm
Jun 192015

This is my earliest picture at Uncle Bill‘s lake house, I think. Welcome to July 1972:

dad bill me

That would make me 15 months old. Dad, to my right, is 28. (Man, he was in deep hairline trouble way earlier than I was. Count your blessings, Bo.) Uncle Bill (my maternal grandmother’s sister’s husband), 48, is holding me. (Looks kind of like Woody Hayes, doesn’t he?)

I don’t remember this trip. I remember things that happened later this year, though. I’ve learned that I remember significantly earlier into my childhood than most people do.

Both Dad and Uncle Bill are obviously having a great time, and that matches my memories of time spent at that house on Logan Martin Lake. Perhaps I’ve romanticized it just a bit in my memory, but thinking of going to Dottie and Bill’s feels so warm and loving (and the detail I can recall from those visits is staggering). I don’t know that our boys have had an analog. I hope we’ve made it up to them in other ways.

I also look at the photo and can’t believe my parents’ marriage would be in significant trouble in another eight years, and would end in less than ten.

I hope—actually I really, deeply believe—that’s something from which I can deliver our children. “Dad, what’s it like to have a stepmother?” Nathan asked me once. “Don’t worry about it buddy, because you’ll never have one,” I answered without hesitation.

I try not to beat my folks up about it too much. I believe they did the best they could. Still, I see a photo like this and I can’t help some part of me saying “Guys? Really?”

Go, right now, and ask your spouse what you can do for him/her.

And have a good weekend.

 Posted by at 9:03 pm
Jun 182015
  • No Wayward Pines tonight. It picks back up next Thursday. I loved the big reveal in last week’s episode, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the run. If you’re not watching it, go to that link and catch up!
  • Anaheim Chili will have another Inferno Weekend for Father’s Day, starting tomorrow night (Friday) for dinner and continuing until they’re out of everything. (Might want to go by Saturday to be safe.) I saw Scott at Fresh Market today and got a little inside intel on what’s to come. Sounds good. Chileheads, gourmands—you want to be there!
  • We received another entertaining telephone call this evening. Dudes and dolls, dig: the Internal Revenue Service will never, ever make initial contact with you by telephone. If you get an ominous-sounding call that claims to be from the IRS, it’s a scam. The IRS makes initial contact by first-class (or occasionally higher) mail.
  • The boys and I caught the latest Marvel Comics movie with BamaDan and his two older this past weekend. We had a good time, and were suitably rewarded for watching it on a big screen. I’ll tell you, though, they’re all pretty interchangeable for me at this point. I never read the comic books, so I don’t get the inside references and don’t know what to expect next. I’m entertained, but the larger world is nearly totally lost on me (and these films are planned out for literally decades).
  • If you don’t sound like a real person, I’m not following you back on Twitter. I don’t need any more trivia fact accounts, and I definitely don’t need any more Twitterbots, no matter how slutty the profile photo and bio are.
  • The boys and I enjoyed ourselves tremendously at Moulton Motor Speedway last weekend with friends from church. We’re going to try to get to a different track next month. When I get a little more baseline knowledge, I’ll post at some length about it.
  • Looks like we actually will get a little break in the weather this weekend. Forecast temperatures are about five degrees cooler than we’ve had this week during the day. Break those parkas out.
 Posted by at 5:57 pm
Jun 172015

The U.S. Treasury has announced that the new $10 bill, to enter circulation in 2020, will feature a woman.


Who? No idea. By law she has to be dead, and “the theme of democracy” is mentioned at the above link. Other than that? Well, she’ll have a vagina!

This is a splendid manifestation of this country’s apparently chronic problem with identity politics. So far, I haven’t seen anyone cast it that way, though the announcement is young as I type.

Do I have a problem with a woman on U.S. currency? Of course not. But this “conversation” we’re supposed to have about who it might be is insulting. Is a woman to appear on the next $10? That’s great! Name her at the initial announcement. This approach:

Q. Who’s on the new $10?
A. Don’t know. But, a woman.

Is as blatantly objectifying as anything I’ve ever seen.

We pay lip service to getting past this kind of thing. We never will.

We revel in it.

 Posted by at 11:59 pm