My dear friends Jennifer and Melissa, life partners since 1993, got engaged yesterday. I am so very happy for them and the many other couples who were similarly unencumbered with this ruling.
I’m also exhausted. Oh, not that I’ve been some kind of tireless activist. I’m just so weary of this being a thing. This has all been settled for me for literally decades—so settled that sometimes when I encounter continued angst over it, I’m caught off-guard.
If you are troubled by yesterday’s decision, please know that I understand that your position can be held by thinking, reasonable people. I know, because I know scores—perhaps hundreds—of said people. Please also know that if you’re interested in discussing rights and wrongs, then I will, but I’m not going to pick a fight with you, today or ever. And if I like you, love you, or both, your position on gay marriage has no bearing on that. I don’t agree with anyone in the world all the time, including myself.
What I will ask you to do is try very hard to take genuine stock of this.
If your objection is a Christian one, then what makes this hill worth dying on? Multiple Bible verses tell us that sin is sin. If homosexuality is one, it’s just another one. Shouldn’t we lead with God’s grace and loving our neighbor? Why must we also torture a piece of Leviticus or Romans and pretend it’s as important as anything Jesus said?
If your objection is a social one, then, sad to say, you just have a bit of bucking up to do. I’m dealing with a bit of the same thing. You know the gigantic gauged piercings that are in vogue right now? I find them grotesque. The very worst are the open rings. They just freak me right the hell out. You know what, though? I’m behind the societal curve on this. It’s my issue. I can learn to deal with it, or I can stay in my house and never come out. That’s life.
How big a deal is it? How big a deal is it really? Is it as important as feeding the poor? As being a person of your word? As doing your best to model good behavior for your children?
I think marriage in this country needs a lot of help. I’m just not so sure taking such severe issue with two people agitating to commit is a productive step.
From a strictly political perspective, I think if the Republicans are smart about this ruling, then it’s a huge blessing. It should be a highly effective card to play. I mean, superseded, right? Gay marriage is the law of the land nationwide, so why even talk about it? Now that’s a bit of a cheat—I would have preferred an epiphany of substance—but I’ll take what I can get. I suspect S.E. Cupp will too.
I hope we’ll be able to look back on this day as the moment this narrative genuinely began settling.