Oct 312014
 

momMy mother:

  • Ordered mustard, pickle, and onion on her hamburger without exception. (So she loved Krystals.)
  • Was a stewardess for Northwest Airlines and living in Minnesota when she and Dad married.
  • Liked and introduced me to peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches.
  • Was addicted to, at one time or another, NyQuil and Neo-Synephrine.
  • Loved the ritual of an Episcopalian service. Grace in Anniston was my first church, and I vividly remember kneeling, standing, and sitting with her.
  • Strongly preferred white lights to colored lights at Christmastime.
  • Always had the iconic 6 1/2 oz. Coca-Cola bottle when we would eat at the Golden Rule BBQ.
  • Owned a 1969 Chevrolet Brookwood named Herkimer, a 1977 Buick Estate Wagon named Osnoggle, a 1978 Chevrolet Caprice Classic named Rosemary, and a 1992 Honda Accord named Camellia.
  • Never saw a Star Wars movie.
  • Hated for anyone to touch her head.
  • Howled to near-breathlessness at that stupid singing mounted fish.
  • Didn’t trust people with what she judged to be thin lips.
  • Stole from doctor’s examination rooms regularly and shamelessly. I see I told that one already some time ago.
  • Once played ZAFTIG to crush my last hopes in a Scrabble game.
  • Worried about my spiritual health when I came for a few days at Christmas and she saw The Fountainhead on my nightstand.
  • Batted .200 on husbands.
  • Remained the greeting voice on her widower’s answering machine a full seven years after she died.
  • Finally figured out that she could keep her furniture store salesperson peers from stealing her lighter if it was a pink Bic jr.
  • Thought that calling soft drinks “bellywashes” would temper my consumption of them.
  • Once knocked over a traffic pylon with Osnoggle solely for the amusement of her children.
  • Pretended to like my first fiancée.
  • Pretended to dislike my second fiancée (and wife).
  • Had ridiculously skinny legs. She used to tell of a high school classmate who would tease “don’t step in any Coke bottles, Russell.”
  • Went through a brief but intense CB radio period. Her handle was Sugar.
  • Adored the little colored plastic animals Sonic used to put on top of their milkshakes.
  • Would exclaim “well, fuck me runnin’!” when others might have said “well, I’ll be!” or “how about that!”
  • Missed meeting two grandsons who would have given her tremendous pleasure, and vice versa.
  • Has my love now and forever. I miss you, Mom.
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 Posted by at 1:20 am

  3 Responses to “You want to know my mom? Here you go”

  1. I loved reading these things about your mom. Most of them I knew, but certainly never heard her comment about “running”.

    • Oh Prissy! In her last few years, she dropped the “f bomb” frequently. And thought it was hysterical. Lol

      I miss her so much

  2. I am glad you put this out here for us to remember. Sometimes we have need of looking back and thinking about the people who made us who we are. And it is always good to spend time with the ones we love.

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