Sep 032014
 

There is at least one photo of me nude. It’s full frontal, too.

My mom took it in 1973. I was two years old.

Apologies to anyone who threw up in her mouth a little at my first paragraph. I can tell you with a fair amount of conviction that there are no adult nude photos of me, though I can’t be 100% positive. There was that weird condo we stayed in once.

There is a big kerfuffle right now because apparently multiple celebrities’ iCloud accounts containing nude photographs of themselves have been hacked, and the photographs subsequently scattered to the four winds.

Apple says neither its iCloud nor its Find My Phone services were compromised. Rather, these individual accounts were hacked with brute force attacks—basically, guessing usernames and passwords until you hit one. (Generally automated programs do this, not unkempt slobs eating Hot Pockets in their moms’ basements manually trying at keyboards, though they may be the ones who wrote the programs.)

Now, any rational thinking adult—and I realize such a description may exclude a great many celebrities—should be able to put it together that if s/he can access his/her iCloud account at any browser with the right credentials, then anyone else could do the same thing. Consequently, though cloud storage is a great thing, there are probably some things you ought not put there. Like tax returns. Or sealed legal proceedings. Or anarchist manifestos.

Or photographs of your vagina.

Now incredibly, for me to suggest that keeping nude photographs of yourself in cloud storage is not a smart thing to do is victim blaming, according to some shrieking malcontents people.

That some would apparently make this another front in the rape culture war is spastically, numbingly stupid. You shouldn’t put nude photographs of yourself in cloud storage for the same reason you shouldn’t leave $1,000 in cash in sight in your car in a parking garage. What’s the problem? They’re both locked up, right? If the cash gets stolen from your car, is it the thief’s fault? Certainly—but you shouldn’t have left it in sight.

If calling these involved celebrities out for doing something dumb is victim blaming, then so is that.

You want to take photographs of your vagina? That’s fantastic. Go for it. Don’t put them in the cloud.

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 Posted by at 7:46 am

  2 Responses to “Blame celebrities for nude photo leaks? Might as well be a rape apologist”

  1. I am not blaming them but right now with what is going on in the rest of the world I could give a flying flip about these stupid celebrities and their effin’ nude photos. Americans are behind beheaded and we are all in an uproar over Jennifer Lawrence’s junk? I do not care. Now, do I think what the hacker did was wrong? Of course. And when he is caught he should get a fair trial and if he is convicted I have no problem with him/her going to jail.

    My son is in boot camp right now. I’m a little emotional. I started a new segment on my blog but you’ll have to find it. I found a new way to re-invent myself! Ha! Or, I should say, I found a way to be ALL of me in ONE place.

    • Carol, I understand. As you know I do blog on serious matters from time to time. I don’t do it more often partially because it would depress me too much and partially because “spittle-flecked rage” isn’t really a tone conducive to keeping a readership, particularly when it would be aimed directly at the percentage of the population corresponding with Obama’s approval rating that week.

      I shall explore your new feature in the very near future, ma’am!

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