First she was an interesting stranger. Y’all were in the same place at the same time.
Then she was your friend. Hey, look! Y’all both like the same coffee. Wow, look at how reliably y’all make each other laugh!
Then she was your girlfriend. She reliably delivered that goofy, airy feeling when you weren’t with her, and that rich, subtle intoxication when you were.
Then she was your fiancee. Hey, nifty: we have similar wants and needs. We have similar values. Plus, we’ve got that spark. This might be something.
Then she was your wife. In sickness and in health. What a great trip y’all took as you began your lives! Great job picking out our light fixtures and flooring in our glorious first place together, babe! God bless us! We get each other!
Then she was the mother of your child. What a lot of amazing things are awakened in her. What a new kind of beautiful she is. What an incredible new life God has created, and that you have shepherded into the world.
Then there was just a bit of chop in the river. A misunderstanding breeds another. A bad night breeds distance, and maybe a night on the couch.
Then “we need to talk.” We might have a problem.
Then I’m not sure this is going to work out.
And your answer to this is an issuance of defiant demands? She does this, and this, and this, or we’re done? Even delivering it with a snarl and a raised voice, are you?
What is that?
You owe her—you owe your union—every ounce of your soul to try to save it.
I’m not saying there are no unreasonable, chronically self-centered witches out there. But I am saying that in my experience and observation, the jackass primitive reactionary soon-to-be-ex-husband is much more common.
It is a damned rare woman who will not respond to sincerity and humility. This is your girlfriend. This is your wife. This is the mother of your children. Dammit, you deliver that sincerity and humility with every fiber of your being before you give up.