Jan 112009

seakitten1Hey, is it rainy outside?  Cold?  Both?  Need something entertaining for your little one to do indoors?

The good people of PETA, who are not at all mentally unbalanced, have decided that renaming fish “sea kittens” is a dandy way to keep so many people from eating them (hat tip, Hot Air).  Nobody would hurt a sea kitten, after all.  (No word as yet on what happens when a child who really likes eating sea kittens begins wondering whether land kittens are similarly tasty.)

From the About page:

People don’t seem to like fish. They’re slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you’re swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.

Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You’ve done enough damage, buddy. We’ve got it from here. And we’re going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Folks, if you wish to remember animals in your charitable giving, I suggest the ASPCA.

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 Posted by at 10:55 pm

  5 Responses to “Save the sea kittens!”

  1. I suggest we start “recycling” our PETA pals. Soylent Green anyone? What the hell are we supposed to eat? Pretty soon they are going to proclaim that carrots scream when we rip them out of the soil. PETA recently voiced their anger about the catch-and-release bass tourny we have on Hartwell. It stresses the lake kittens too much to transport them to the weigh-in.

  2. This would be a great addition to the church fish fry, I mean, kitten fry.

  3. I’ve always looked at it this way – if we weren’t supposed to eat meat, we wouldn’t be able to eat meat. Our teeth wouldn’t be able to cut through the flesh, our digestive systems wouldn’t be able to process the flesh, etc., etc., etc…

    If you CHOOSE to not eat meat, fine, that’s your choice, but don’t try to shove your culinary peculiarities down my throat, ok, Julia Childs?

    Was that sufficiently Miller-esque, Bo? 🙂

    Oh, if you’re ever in Manchester, NH, try KC’s Rib Shack (www.ribshack.net). How can you beat a place with tag lines in it’s radio ad like “Sponsored by PETA – People Eating Tasty Animals,” or “Where pigs go to die,” or “You may beat our prices, but you’ll never beat our meat.” How can you beat a place where the waitresses wear t-shirts that say, “Hey, nice rack!” 🙂

  4. Cheryl: The idea of a carrot screaming is hilarious!

    ‘seester: Perzactly.

    nhfalcon: Sounds like my kind of place. 🙂

  5. […] is chastising Barack Obama for killing a fly.  As I’ve indicated before, PETA is a bunch of completely unhinged lunatics.  If you want to remember animals in your […]

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