Jan 132008
 

1. Have a screwdriver to use for stuff you’re not supposed to use a screwdriver for. Screwdrivers are for driving screws. You’re not supposed to use them to gouge, pry, stir, and so forth. They certainly do work well in some non-screwing applications, though. Here is the one I’ve assigned to take the pain:

2. There are a few common household items on which I recommend you spend $100 or so, and then scatter throughout every pocket of your daily existence. Purses, dressers, junk drawers, glove compartments—you get the idea. Here they are:

3. Finally, while I am normally a strong proponent of purchasing inexpensive store-brand packages of common chemicals (aspirin, bleach, and the like), that recommendation does not extend to cyanoacrylate adhesive (super glue). Cheap super glue is exactly the same stuff as Krazy Glue or Loctite brand. But it comes in plain tubes with screw caps, which are perfect for a) glopping out all over the place; and b) drying up rather quickly once opened. When you pay for a name, you’re usually paying for a much better application method and storage container as well.

You’re welcome. Hey, I’m a giver.

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 Posted by at 6:17 pm

  10 Responses to “Do these things and you’ll have a better life”

  1. My greatest earthly hero checked in with me by email a little while ago with this gem:

    “Hello son. I have about 8 screwdrivers that I don’t use to drive screws. But then I’m older than you and have had more time to think up dumb shit to do with screwdrivers.”

    Ha! Love it. Love you, Dad.

  2. Don’t forget, water purification tablets, and Kleenex.

  3. Bo’s biggest problem with the screwdriver is that I always forget which one is the designated one “to take the pain”…

  4. Lea – you mean he hasn’t put a LABEL on it? I’m shocked…

  5. The things in my life that get spread out all over our environment are
    1. tissues
    2. Super Glue
    3. Post-its

    I keep a screwdriver and a small hammer handy, too, and for all sorts of applications.

  6. I agree and can add one more. Buy a dozen or so of those little crank flashlights ($2 and up) and put one in the top right-hand drawer of everything in your house that has a top right-hand drawer. Power goes out, or you just need a flashlight for something, you know where to find one.

    Hubby looooves those little flashlights.

  7. Melanie – I’ve never ‘fessed up to abusing his other screwdrivers before. Now he knows it needs a label!

    I’m shocked the night lights didn’t make the “gotta have” list. We seem to have those puppies all over the house. Bo loves them. I’d rather the house be dark when, you know, it’s dark outside.

  8. Melanie: I did think of a label for it immediately after reading Lea’s comment. Of course, now it has to say “TO TAKE THE PAIN.”

    Suzie: I own at least two dozen flashlights–maybe three–and I STILL look at them when I’m shopping. What the hell is that? I don’t know. I’ll tell you one thing, though–this is a damned fine place to be in a blackout.

    Lea: Now which is it? If anything, you generally accuse me of being part vampire, what with my dislike of overhead lighting and all.

    I do like the little LED night lights. Actually if it were completely up to me, all of them would be the sort that have both light and motion sensors, and their light would just “magically” follow us around the house–lighting up to greet us, and fading shortly after we passed. That idea got kiboshed as too weird.

  9. Of course the label SHOULD read “Screw the pain.”

  10. “Actually if it were completely up to me, all of them would be the sort that have both light and motion sensors, and their light would just “magically” follow us around the house–lighting up to greet us, and fading shortly after we passed. That idea got kiboshed as too weird.”

    Bo, Wal-Mart stole your idea. They’re using it in the frozen food aisle.
    xo,
    D

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