Several factors for a great Monday morning were present. I lost two pounds last week after giving and taking the same pound for a month. I’d just finished our first Dark and Stormy Book Club selection and was enjoying thinking about it. I had a new shirt to wear. My truck was freshly washed. Two things I wanted to work on were waiting for me at the office. If I’m ever going to be the way-too-happy obnoxious guy walking around whistling, waving at strangers, and just generally blowing sunshine up your ass on what is really just another Monday morning in the real world, today was the day.
Except when I put my feet on the floor to get out of bed, I didn’t feel all that great. “Just a little grogginess,” I thought. So thinking I’d shake it off as I ingested a bit of caffeine and went through the motions, I checked email, slopped hogs, hygienicized, etc., and went on to work.
The hoped-for shakeoff never happened, and by 11 or so I was feeling considerably worse, and starting to get a bit chilled. Oh, this is lovely. I’ve got the same bug Lea had yesterday. So I came home.
Check this out. There are two symptoms: 1) a degree to a degree and a half of fever; and 2) feeling like you’ve been through the gears of a combine. That’s it.
Now just what the hell kind of bullshit disease is that? Any self-respecting illness should hobble you considerably more. You’re going to lay me out with the fatigue and the febrility, and then just leave me there to think about it? I don’t get to expectorate violently, enjoy gastrointestinal chaos, or anything?
Slept a bit this afternoon. Watched some Seinfeld DVDs. Haven’t moved much. I’m missing Nathan’s first soccer practice of the season right now. But I got up to eat a little something a while ago, and I’m feeling better. That’s another thing; it runs its course in a day.
This is a massively underachieving microorganism.
You might also like:
- Jackrabbit start
Last week, when I announced the kickoff of my effort to lose 100 pounds, I said I wasn’t going to ya… - Asking my doctor to tighten the screws
So when I was in to surrender my semiannual tube of blood last week, I told my doctor I was ready to… - Going nuclear on my weight
“I’m not drinking again until I don’t hate my body anymore.” So said I, a week ago today. Labor Day … - The journey to 179.5 begins
Here I go! There’s the starting number, in all its ugly glory! This time, all I’m doing to start is … - Unplugged Sunday #5 down; one more to go
You know, I was thinking on a couple of different levels when I dropped the Internet for all of the …
Take a couple ex-lax, eat some reduced-fat turkey chili, and it might make your pathogen feel better about itself.
Wait a minute, wait a minute… You WANT to expectorate violently? You ENJOY gastrointestinal chaos? I’d rather feel like combine-fodder for a week than puke once, my friend. You are a strange bird…
I like it because it feels so good when I stop.
Still… wouldn’t you rather never starting in the first place? I know for sure that *I* would…
Depends on what is causing the vomitus. See, there have been times I’ve prayed to have at it, and be done with that phase of the regrets.
What an underwhelming bug! I think you should give it a pep talk.