Aug 152007
 

…and things are going pretty well. I’m in a reasonably good mood, and the hard-hitting cravings happen some, but they aren’t as frequent as I feared they might be. I’m going to have to stop wearing the patch all night, though. It says to wear it 24 hours, but it also says that it can cause vivid dreaming, and that if it interferes with a good night’s sleep that it’s okay to pull it off at bedtime.

After last night, I’ll be doing that. Between 4:30 and 5:10 this morning, I backed my truck up to the front door of my grandparents’ old house in Panama City, except the house it was connected to belonged to a childhood friend, and it was really cold, and it had the backyard of my current house. I shoveled a bunch of dirt in through the front door. Then I went to bed in the back bedroom, but something kept catching my eye before I turned the light off. I got up to investigate, and it was these two huge (8″ or so) scorpions fighting on their back legs.

I’ve dreamed a lot every night since I quit, but I always dream a lot, so I didn’t think much of it. It definitely messed with me last night, though. I think it’s coming off at 8 pm tonight.

I feel like I’m eating all the time, but I’m doing a pretty good job of surrounding myself with healthy food. So it’s still too many calories, but it’s not like I’m mowing through Doritos or Krispy Kremes.

I’m also wearing a pedometer these days. This week, it’s 5,000 steps daily. Next week, it’ll be 7,000. I may jump straight to 10,000 the week following. I don’t consider any of my non-Monday weigh-ins official, but unofficial indications are that I’m keeping weight gain largely at bay with the walking. We’ll see.

Living right is a big adjustment. I have to keep not paying close attention to what I’m doing, so that by the time I do pay close attention, it will be second nature, and I won’t really remember what it’s like to sit on my ass, eat 4,500 calories, and smoke a pack and a half of cigarettes every single day.

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 Posted by at 7:28 pm

  One Response to “In the middle of hour 99…”

  1. Ugh. I hate, hate, HATE when dreams disrupt my sleep. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does I’m off my game all the next day.

    I’m sending you as much good energy as I can spare. What you’re doing is hard, Man, and I’m wishing you luck and fortitude!

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